GRAMMY EDITION
by J. Freeman

Steely Dan? I kept saying it to myself - I don't seem to remember this being a critics fav. I guess it was the Grammy's way of toning down the show after all the Eminem hub bub. Becker and Fagen should be checked for a pulse and their management should be checked for payola to the Grammy Voters.

 
Talent rule #26 - The less talent you have the more dancers you should employ and / or the less clothes you should wear.
 
It was nice the lead singer for Destiny's Child has studied film footage of Tina Turner's walk. Now if she would just rent "Gimme Shelter" and study Tina's way with a microphone! 
 
Grammy rule # 28 - The really roots music categories are boring to the public so never shall we present Emmy Lou Harris, BB King, Johnny Cash, The Temptations Joni Mitchell, etc with a Grammy on live TV. God forbid the public is exposed to something they didn't see on MTV or have pounded into their skulls on the radio. "Bang Bang Bang"
 
Exactly what are the rules for being a "New Artist" -- is  6 albums the maximum or is it based on total sales figures?
 
Jon Stewart -- now that's not funny
 
I now plan on shopping at the Eminem's "Short and Snotty shop for men". Now that is a fashion statement
 
Grammy rule #75 - Only American Indian winners are allowed to "Thank God". All others must admit hypocrisy before uttering those words. "I'd like to thank the creator -- hey shut up bitch I'm trying to thank God here" 
 
Hey they don't call it the devils music for nothing and he never gets any credit.
 
If anyone should thank God it's Steely Dan -- of course all it did was shake my faith in religion and rock n roll.
 
Blue Man Group -- and the point of their act is? Drums, confetti and streamers?? I was as embarrassed for Moby as he appeared on the show.
 
Ok, Toni Braxton has read Jennifer Lopez's book "How to Undress for Success".  Now I know she can read.
 
I loved Faith Hill getting a Grammy for best performance in a Pepsi video.
 
Thanks to bi lingual Christina Aguilera for proving you can be annoying and screeching in two languages. Note to Britney Spears pig Latin is not an officially recognized language for your next album.
 
Did I really see this? Mike Love getting TV face time for being a Grammy pioneer? Brian Wilson is in the audience and gets no recognition. The low point of the evening and a low point in rock n roll TV history.
 
Best Grammy winning album title: "Touched by a Polka" - Jimmy Sturr
 
Best Grammy TV moment: Mike Collins -- in a tuxedo -- live at the Grammy's. Explaining to Michiana that the Staples Center is not named after the Staple Singers. Now that is funny...

 
    View From the Couch -Top 10 at the Half way mark- From Alt.Country - June 2002
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