GRAMMY
EDITION
by J. Freeman
Steely Dan? I kept saying it to myself - I don't seem to remember this being a critics fav. I guess it was the Grammy's way of toning down the show after all the Eminem hub bub. Becker and Fagen should be checked for a pulse and their management should be checked for payola to the Grammy Voters.
Talent rule #26 - The less
talent you have the more dancers you should employ and / or the less
clothes you should wear.
It was nice the lead singer
for Destiny's Child has studied film footage of Tina Turner's walk. Now
if she would just rent "Gimme Shelter" and study Tina's way
with a microphone!
Grammy rule # 28 - The
really roots music categories are boring to the public so never
shall we present Emmy Lou Harris, BB King, Johnny Cash, The Temptations Joni
Mitchell, etc with a Grammy on live TV. God forbid the public is exposed
to something they didn't see on MTV or have pounded into their skulls on
the radio. "Bang Bang Bang"
Exactly what are the rules
for being a "New Artist" -- is 6 albums the maximum
or is it based on total sales figures?
Jon Stewart -- now that's
not funny
I now plan on shopping at
the Eminem's "Short and Snotty shop for men". Now that is a
fashion statement
Grammy rule #75 - Only
American Indian winners are allowed to "Thank God". All others
must admit hypocrisy before uttering those words. "I'd like to
thank the creator -- hey shut up bitch I'm trying to thank God
here"
Hey they don't call it the
devils music for nothing and he never gets any credit.
If anyone should thank God
it's Steely Dan -- of course all it did was shake my faith in religion
and rock n roll.
Blue Man Group -- and the
point of their act is? Drums, confetti and streamers?? I was as
embarrassed for Moby as he appeared on the show.
Ok, Toni Braxton has read
Jennifer Lopez's book "How to Undress for Success". Now
I know she can read.
I loved Faith Hill getting a
Grammy for best performance in a Pepsi video.
Thanks to bi lingual
Christina Aguilera for proving you can be annoying and screeching in two
languages. Note to Britney Spears pig Latin is not an officially
recognized language for your next album.
Did I really see this? Mike
Love getting TV face time for being a Grammy pioneer? Brian Wilson is in
the audience and gets no recognition. The low point of the evening and a
low point in rock n roll TV history.
Best Grammy winning album
title: "Touched by a Polka" - Jimmy Sturr
Best Grammy TV moment: Mike
Collins -- in a tuxedo -- live at the Grammy's. Explaining to Michiana
that the Staples Center is not named after the Staple Singers. Now that
is funny...
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