7:30 - BATMAN

This pop culture phenomenon gets the evening off to a bat-tacular start as the Caped Crusader and his Boy Wonder try to save Gotham City from super criminals who want to rule the world and make a bizarre fashion statement at the same time. One ground rule must be laid, however. Only Julie Newmar as Catwoman and Frank Gorshin as the Riddler, but all other guest villains are welcome. Yes, even Clock King, Sandman and whoever the hell Zsa Zsa Gabor was supposed to be.

8:00 - THE DICK VAN DYKE SHOW

Arguably the best sitcom ever in the history of television, but there are some things that still puzzle me about this show. For instance, why couldnít the head writer of a network variety show afford new dishes? And howís come it only took three people to write The Alan Brady Show, but it takes half the Writers Guild to think up Saturday Night Live? But the biggest brain teaser: Why would any guy in his right mind sleep in twin beds when he had a hot wife like Laura Petrie?

8:30 - GREEN ACRES

Surreal vaudeville. Eddie Albert stars as Oliver Wendell Douglas, a lawyer turned farmer who wears a suit while he plows the field on his tractor but has the nerve to think everyone else is crazy. And when heís not tending his crops, Mr. Douglas plays straight man to wife Lisa and such locals as Mr. Haney, Eb Dawson, Mr. Kimball and a TV watching pig named Arnold Ziffel.

9:00 - THE JOHNNY CASH SHOW

If you think this show was only about country music, think again. Yes, the original Man in Black did play host to some of the biggest names in C&W, but he also brought such rock acts as Creedence Clearwater, Bob Dylan, Neil Young and Derek & the Dominos into American living rooms each week. And where else are you going to see Eric Clapton and Carl Perkins trade licks on network television? Not The Ray Stevens Show or MTV, I bet.

10:00 - LAW & ORDER

A cop show and a lawyer show all rolled up into one. A series so well conceived and written that not even several cast changes have been able to kill it. Although I must admit I prefer the episodes with Detectives Briscoe and Logan working homicide and the show isnít quite the same without Steven Hill as the acerbic old D.A. who tosses out sarcastic one-liners with the same proficiency as he does legal advice. Maybe we could use computers to insert him in the Dianne Wiest parts.