Itís nice to see Joe Montana inducted into Pro Footballís Hall of Fame on his first try, along with former 49er teammate Ronnie Lott. But when is Professor Irwin Corey gonna finally get the recognition he deserves for his contribution to the game? It has been well past the mandatory five year waiting period since he last explained the complicated NFL playoff system on TV. Wake up voters and do the right thing.

By the way, Professor Corey and Professor Backwards are not the same person. Thatís kinda like saying Laurel & Hardy and Abbot & Costello are the same or thereís no difference between The Addams Family and The Munsters. Youíd be wrong in all cases, so stop making a fool of yourself and get with the program.

If forced to choose between Super Bowl hype or hoopla, Iíd have to say I prefer the hoopla.

North Dallas Forty is by far my favorite football movie of all time. But then again, I havenít see Any Given Sunday or Gus The Field Goal Kicking Mule.

The filibuster of a pre-game show provided ABC with the opportunity to promote one of itís other shows by presenting a special Super Bowl edition of The View. Yes, Barbara Walters and her hen party yapping it up about how good a manís butt looks in those tight football pants. Oh, come on, itís cute when women do it!!

Quarterback Steve Young assured everyone that he is physically fit enough to return to pro football and feels no lingering after effects from the concussion that sidelined him this past season. Then he proceeded to explain how tiny mice from outer space called most of the plays during the 49ers last Super Bowl Victory.

It was good to see Lynyrd Skynyrd at the pre-game tailgate party performing Sweet Home Alabama. Yeah, like I need to hear that song a few hundred more times before they throw dirt on my grave. I guess the significance of the song is Alabama and Atlanta (the host city for the Super Bowl) are both located in the south and both start with the letter "A".

Hey, what was former Vikings head coach Bud Grant doing on the field for the coin toss? He never won a Super Bowl. That just sends kids the wrong message. That losing is okay.

A bit of football history and trivia. Calling plays at the line of scrimmage is nothing new to the game. I believe the first audible was called by Chico Marx as the quarterback for Huxley College in the film Horse Feathers. "Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, this time weíre gonna run straight up the middle."

Wow, I thought Barbara Eden had really let herself go to hell, until I realized it was Rams owner Georgia Frontiere who was prowling the sidelines during the game (probably telling the players how she wanted them to pronounce her name this week).

And is it just me, or was Kurt Warnerís mom a lot hotter looking than his wife?

Yes, Kurt Warner, a Cinderella story. His family had to eat bugs to survive. Then one day he quit his meager job of stacking meagers in a grocery store and joined a team in the Electric Football League. After setting a record for most consecutive plays without turning around in circles and running towards his own goal line, Warner led his team to the league championship and was picked up by the Rams as backup quarterback. But the starting quarterback is injured and the rest, as they say, is NFL history.

How about that half-time show! At first I thought I was having an acid flashback, but then I remembered I never dropped acid. Where do I begin? There were the futuristic tribal dancers. The big Touchdown Jesus (as seen through the eyes of Elton John) popping up at the back of the stage. A special guest appearance by the mutant people from Beneath the Planet of the Apes cavorting about in a manner that could be mistaken as choreography. Christina Aguilera with her belly button covered up and engrossed in a bellowing contest with Enrique Iglesias. A squatty, old bald guy who turned out to be Phil Collins elevating up into the sky for no apparent reason, unless he was trying to see where he parked his car, and then quickly coming back down because apparently he found it. A confused Toni Braxton lip synching her lungs out while a huge scary bird hovered over her back. And all this accompanied by an orchestra and explained by the narration of actor Edward James Olmos, who babbled about such things as "the magic of the millennium" and "uniting the nation through the gateway of time." Or something like that. Anyway, I couldnít help but think that everyone involved was just taking  much needed work away from the Up With People Singers.

Of course, what is the Super Bowl without the commercials? This yearís batch were somewhat lame, I must say. And most of them were promoting new internet companies or Budweiser.

A few I actually remember...

Muhammad Ali shadow boxing in a commercial for webMD.com. Yeah, he looks like he could still go a couple rounds with a sock puppet. Or three with Mike Tyson.

Nuveen Investment used computer film techniques to make it appear that paralyzed actor Christopher Reeve could actually walk again. I guess it was meant to be uplifting but, man, it was just plain creepy.

Okay now, who was supposed to be keeping an eye on Ringo Starr? There he was in an ad for the Charles Schwab investment firm. You know, if he knew so damn much about investing, he wouldnít have to make the stupid ass commercial.

Oh, I liked the one where the monkey is sitting in between the two strange bastards and theyíre all clapping their hands. But I canít remember what they were advertising. Monkeys?

I almost forgot about something: The Game! Címon it was the St. Louis Rams against the Tennessee Titans. Nobody cares. Yeah, it was close, but only the fourth quarter was exciting, so donít blow it out of proportion. The Rams won. I think. (And I admit the game wasnít total crap.)

Fuck and Run- Volume 5 is right here in case you missed it...