Did anyone happen to get a gander at Britney Spears in her little whore dress when she accepted the award for Best New Artist at the American Music Awards? Way to go, Britney!  Canít wait to see the videos for the next album.

And speaking of Dick Clarkís wacky music awards extravaganza, I unfortunately missed The Very Breasts of Mariah Carey portion of the program. I understand it was (they were) impressive and her (their) appearance foreshadowed a much more serious turn in the Divaís approach to her music (album covers).

Bea Arthur, TVís irrepressible Maude, is coming to Chicago to star in George & Ira Gershwinís "Strike Up The Band." Do I need to make a joke here or is the mental image of Bea Arthur in a musical funny enough?

The Moody Blues are on tour! You know, they got the boring part down pat years ago. Now theyíre just working on being old.

So former junkie David Crosby is the natural father of Melissa Etheridgeís children. It could have been worse. What if she and her life partner chose malaprop comedian Norm Crosby to be the dad? Then the confused youngsters would go through life wondering why everyone was making a fuss over their two mommies being librarians.

Big deal. Tom Cruise won a Golden Globe Award for Best Supporting Actor. And he beat out a little kid.

The Golden Globes also presented the Beany & Cecil B. DeMille Lifetime Achievement Award to Barbara Streisand. I think itís an award that goes to someone who made a lot of movies no one wants to see anymore.

What makes me think the two Cuban Grandmothers are gonna have their own show on NBCís fall schedule?

Good news!! I get to buy all The Clash albums all over again! The CDs have been remastered and I hear they sound amazing!! Thatís okay. Itís not like Iím spending much money on the hot new sounds of today.

Stuff Magazine has just come out with itís list of the 100 Sexiest Women in the World for the Year 2000. Numero Uno? Jennifer Lopez. Wrong!  Number Two? Charlize Theron. Who?  Ditto for numbers 3,4,5 & 6. And why is Elizabeth Hurley way down at number 74?

Nothing makes me sadder than the face of a child whose balloon has just blown away.

And nothing pulls me out of the doldrums quicker than a good Stubby Kaye story.

Do yourself a favor. Rent Bowfinger starring Steve Martin and Eddie Murphey. It just came out on video and it is one funny ass movie. Heather Graham, who for some stupid reason is only number 26 on Stuff Magazineís stupid list, also stars.

Do yourself another favor. Listen to Desire by Bob Dylan. Theyíre playing the heck out of the song Hurricane in conjunction with the release of The Hurricane, the movie which earned Denzel Washington a Golden Globe Award for portraying boxer Reuben "Hurricane" Carter. That song is on this album. So is a lot of other great music.

Okay, thatís it for now. Gotta get ready for the Super Bowl. The St. Louis Rams vs. the Tennessee Titans. Does Roman Gabriel still play for the Rams? No wait, thatís the Los Angles Rams. What about Aqua Lad?  No, that was the Teen Titans.

Well at least I get to see Madonna perform on the pre-game show. Oh, I forgot. She pulled out. (Make up your own joke folks. Itís late and Iím tired.)

P.S. Get well wishes to George Harrison and David Letterman.*

 *Yeah, I know they donít read this. Iím just puttiní it out there in the cosmos.