BEFORE WE BEGIN: I should mention that the greatest movie of the year did not get a real release--No, not Happy Campers, you fools, but the ultraviolent, ultraentertaining, ultraeverything BATTLE ROYALE. Better luck next year.
Also, one of the great all-time action films, 1988's IRON MONKEY finally did get a wide release, but is not included in the below list.

 

10 out of 10 (Once-in-a-blue-moon masterpiece)

nothing this year

9 (truly excellent)

1. EUREKA (You mean you never saw that 3 hour and 40 minute Japanese film
from the Shooting Gallery that played two weeks at the Fairfax? Shame on
you)

2. A.I. (fuck all y'all)
3. IN THE MOOD FOR LOVE
4. GHOST WORLD
5. AMELIE
6. CURE
7. THE TASTE OF OTHERS
8. MEMENTO
9. LANTANA
10. WET, HOT AMERICAN SUMMER
11. HEDWIG AND THE ANGRY INCH
12. RESTLESS
13. AMORRES PERROS
14. MULLHOLLAND DRIVE
15. AUDITION
16. TOGETHER
17. THE ROYAL TENNENBAUMS
18. BARAN

8 (pretty great)

19. THE KING IS ALIVE
20. MOULIN ROUGE
21. SASAYAGI
22. DEAD OR ALIVE
23. SEXY BEAST
24. ME AND ISAAC NEWTON
25. THE MAN WHO WASN'T THERE
26. GOSFORD PARK
27. JAY AND SILENT BOB STRIKE BACK
28. BULLY
29. THE LEGEND OF RITA
30. CHUNYANG
31. INTIMACY
32. THE PLEDGE
33. SPY KIDS
34. LAST ORDERS
35. MONSTER'S INC.
36. TIME AND TIDE
37. SIGNS AND WONDERS
38. WAKING LIFE
39. THE DAY I BECAME A WOMAN
40. THE MILLION DOLLAR HOTEL
41. THE WIDOW OF SAINT PIERRE
42. CHAIN CAMERA
43. FAITHLESS
44. LAST RESORT
45. TRAINING DAY
46. BREAD AND ROSES
47. THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING

7 (really good)

48. BAISE-MOI
49. MAUVAISE FREQUENTATIONS (BAD COMPANY)
50. TROUBLE EVERYDAY
51. JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS
52. IN THE BEDROOM
53. THE OTHERS
54. FAT GIRL
55. THE MUMMY RETURNS
56. STARTUP.COM
57. THE PRINCESS AND THE WARRIOR
58. KISS OF THE DRAGON
59. WITH A FRIEND LIKE HARRY...
60. A BEAUTIFUL MIND
61. THE GLEANERS AND I
62. DINNER RUSH
63. SESSION 9
64. DIVIDED WE FALL
65. THE CENTER OF THE WORLD
66. JUMP TOMORROW
67. THE VERTICAL RAY OF THE SUN
68. THE CIRCLE
69. EVERYTHING PUT TOGETHER
70. ZOOLANDER
71. THE AMERICAN ASTRONAUT
72. JIN-ROH
73. OCEAN'S 11
74. HAIKU TUNNEL
75. VANILLA SKY
76. SIMON MAGUS
77. SHREK
78. THE DEEP END
79. THE BROTHERS
80. THOMAS IN LOVE
81. L.I.E.
82. MONSTER'S BALL
83. BANDITS
84. A MATTER OF TASTE
85. ABERDEEN
86. EVERYBODY'S FAMOUS
87. ALONG CAME A SPIDER
88. OUR SONG
89. THE DEVIL'S BACKBONE
90. NO MAN'S LAND
91. ALI
92. VA SAVOIR
93. THE PERSONALS
94. O
95. MAU MAU SEX SEX
96. SPY GAME
97. LISA PICARD IS FAMOUS

6 (just good)

98. SERIES 7
99. BLACK HAWK DOWN
100. DONNIE DARKO
101. BEHIND ENEMY LINES
102. UNDER THE SAND
103. AUGGIE ROSE
104. THE CLOSET
105. RAT RACE
106. CHOPPER
107. TWO CAN PLAY THAT GAME
108. ABOUT ADAM
109. HAPPY ACCIDENTS
110. CHARLOTTE GRAY
111. SERENDIPITY
112. SHALLOW HAL
113. GINGER SNAPS
114. THE DISH
115. BRIDGET JONES'S DIARY
116. FROM HELL
117. OUR LADY OF THE ASSASINS
118. THE MONKEY'S MASK
119. HEARTS OF ATLANTIS
120. HANNIBAL
121. THE CAVEMAN'S VALENTINE
122. SWORDFISH
123. BETTER THAN SEX
124. KATE AND LEOPOLD
125. CRAZY/BEAUTIFUL
126. SAVING SILVERMAN
127. NOT ANOTHER TEEN MOVIE
128. BIG EDEN
129. IN CHINA, THEY EAT DOGS
130. ROCK STAR
131. HEARTBREAKERS
132. JOYRIDE
133. HEAD OVER HEELS
134. K-PAX
135. MONKEYBONE
136. PINERO
137. ATLANTIS--THE LOST EMPIRE
138. THE ROAD HOME
139. ENEMY AT THE GATES
140. MADE
141. THE ANNIVERSARY PARTY
142. DR. DOOLITTLE 2
143. 15 MINUTES
144. THE GOLDEN BOWL
145. LUMUMBA
146. BONES
147. HARRY POTTER AND THE SORCEROR'S STONE
148. THE ONE
149. EXIT WOUNDS
150. RUSH HOUR 2
151. THE CURSE OF THE JADE SCORPION
152. THE SCORE
153. DEEP INTO THE WOODS
154. GO TIGERS
155. NICO AND DANI
156. LIVE GIRLS UNITE

5 (fair)

157. DANCING AT THE BLUE IGUANA
158. BROTHER
159. THE CRIMSON RIVERS
160. TAPE
161. AN AMERICAN RHAPSODY
162. POOTIE TANG
163. ALL OVER THE GUY
164. LEGALLY BLONDE
165. 101 REYKJAVIK
166. SOBREVIVRE
167. THE TAILOR OF PANAMA
168. HEIST
169. THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS
170. NOVACAINE
171. PLANET OF THE APES
172. I AM SAM
173. ONE NIGHT AT McCOOL'S
174. SWEET NOVEMBER
175. THE FORESAKEN
176. BLACK KNIGHT
177. SIDEWALKS OF NEW YORK
178. TOO MUCH SLEEP
179. A KNIGHT'S TALE
180. JACKPOT
181. IRIS
182. PANIC
183. JURASSIC PARK 3
184. BUBBLE BOY
185 . BABY BOY
186. BLOW
187. 3,000 MILES TO GRACELAND
188. FEVER
189. FINAL FANTASY
190. JOE DIRT
191. HAPPENSTNACE
192. DOUBLE TAKE
193. JEEPERS CREEPERS
194. THE ANIMAL
195. HIT AND RUNWAY
196. RECESS
197. SAVE THE LAST DANCE

CLASS BY ITSELF 30% MASTERPIECE, 70% HOLOCAUST

198. FREDDY GOT FINGERED

4 (painlessly mediocre)

199. BANGKOCK DANGEROUS
200. THE SHIPPING NEWS
201. THE MUSKETEER
202. TOMB RAIDER
203. THE LAST CASTLE
204. CAPTAIN CORELLI'S MANDOLIN
205. RIDING IN CARS WITH BOYS
206. MAZE
207. WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT CAN HAPPEN?
208. MY LIFE AS A HOUSE
209. THE BUSINESS OF THE STRANGERS
210. THE MEXICAN
211. THE PRINCESS DIARIES
212. HARDBALL
213. OSMOSIS JONES
214. THE LUZHIN DEFENSE
215. DON'T SAY A WORD
216. ANTI-TRUST
217. JIMMY NEUTRON, BOY GENIUS
218. EVOLUTION
219. LOST AND DELIRIOUS
220. SUGAR AND SPICE
221. THE INVISIBLE CIRCUS
222. SONGCATCHER
223. CATS AND DOGS
224. DRIVEN
225. ANGEL EYES
226. BLOW DRY
227. VALENTINE


3 (painfully mediocre)

228. GET OVER IT
229. THE AFFAIR OF THE NECKLACE
230. THE MAJESTIC
231. GLITTER
232. OUT COLD
233. DOMESTIC DISTURBANCE
234. THE GLASS HOUSE
235. AMERICA'S SWEETHEARTS
236. BRIDE LIKE THE WIND
237. JOHN CARPENTER'S GHOSTS OF MARS
238. SPEEDWAY JUNKY
239. SOUL SURVIVORS
240. KILL ME LATER
241. THE MAN WHO CRIED
242. THE GIRL
243. SOMEONE LIKE YOU
244. SUMMER CATCH
245. JOE SOMEBODY
246. THIRTEEN GHOSTS

2 (bad)

247. THE WEDDING PLANNER
248. COMPANY MAN
249. TEXAS RANGERS
250. CORKY ROMANO
251. SAY IT ISN'T SO
252. AMERICAN PIE 2
253. AMERICAN OUTLAWS
254. SCARY MOVIE 2
255. SEE SPOT RUN
256. ORIGINAL SIN

1 (truly awful)

257. MY FIRST MASTER
258. TOWN AND COUNTRY
259. TOMCATS
260. DOWN TO EARTH


0 (once-in-a-blue-moon shitstorm)

nothing THAT wretched this year

NOTABLY MISSED

behind the sun
diamond men
innocence
pandaemonium
focus
the endurance
max keeble's big move
keep the river on the right.....
under the sun
maybe baby
greenfingers
the charcoal people
bread and tulips
porn star: the legend of ron jeremy