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F & R "Fat, Drunk & Stupid Is No Way To Go Through Life"  Jack Osbourne checked into rehab to take care of an unspecified
substance abuse problem. (Just a chip off the old block, eh?) I hope
they have a special wing for fat, spoiled and obnoxious celebrity
offspring. Then again, maybe this is just a new story line added to keep
"The Osbournes" on the air for another season. You know, during sweeps
Jack could share a room with Billy Joel and then Liz Taylor could drop
by for moral support. Anyway, Happy Motherís Day, Sharon! Your boy just
gave you something to take your mind off your real problems.Paul McCartneyís daughter Stella recently complained that her famous father is a cheapskate who sent his children to public schools and bought their clothes off the sale rack to save money. Poor kid. I guess sheís upset her daddy didnít turn their home into a freak palace with an amusement park and exotic petting zoo in the backyard. Oh well, I guess only someone who owns the publishing rights to the Beatlesí songs could afford to do something that extravagant. Jim Morrisonís parents are suing the Doors over the use of the bandís name during their cockamamie "reunion" tour. I imagine the band will cop an insanity plea as their defense. I mean, you would have to be crazy to reunite the Doors without Jim Morrison, right? In a recent issue of Blender Magazine, Lisa Marie Presley, daughter of the King of Rock & Roll and ex-wife of the Prince of Pop, said that pain inspires her and she uses her songs as a weapon. Well, the good news is she really canít hurt anyone firing blanks. President Bush says the war on terror is not over and Courtney Love announces sheís putting together a new band. Am I the only one who thinks these two stories are not unrelated? And what was the biggest worry when the President of the United States took over the controls of a fighter jet as it flew him to an aircraft carrier to address the nation? That he would suddenly think it was the economy and dive bomb it right into the ocean, The nine Democratic candidates for the next presidential election began the first leg of their tour this month with a debate in Columbia, South Carolina. Those taking part were Joe Liberman, Al Sharpton, Carol Mosely Braun, John Kerry, Bob Graham, John Edwards, Dick Gephardt, Dennis Kucinch and Howard Dean. And you thought last yearís lineup for Ringoís All-Star Band was lame! Elvis Costello has been a busy boy so far this year. After being inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame with his old band The Attractions, he subbed as a talk show host for David Letterman, made a guest appearance (as the male Phoebe Buffay) on "Frasier" and got engaged to foxy jazz singer Diana Krall. Just a word of advice to the next Mrs. Costello: Donít give up your day job. Alabama head coach Mike Price was fired by the university before he even had a chance to coach a single game for the Crimson Tide. Apparently, they didnít like the idea of their coach spending hundreds of dollars at a topless bar and then having to pick up the check when a woman ordered a thousand dollars worth of room service from Priceís room the next morning. Price said the punishment isnít fair and he should get a second chance after making just one mistake in his long career, but no such luck. Yes, everyoneís allowed a screw up every now and then, Mikey. Just donít make your first one a doozie. Now ending on a couple of sad notes, like we so often so do... George Wyle, the composer who wrote the theme song to "Gilliganís Island," died at age of 87. And even though he may be remembered foremost for writing that catchy little ditty, Wyle also wrote about 400 other songs including the holiday classic, "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year." He also served as musical director for TV variety shows starring Dinah Shore, Jerry Lewis and Andy Williams and worked with many big name stars on their various specials.  And Miss Elizabeth, the First Lady of Professional Wrestling, is dead at
age 42. Unlike todayís hotties of the squared circle, Liz didnít like to
get into the ring and body slam other half-naked babes to earn her
paycheck. Instead she played the part of damsel in distress whose main
job was to distract the opponents of her superstar husband, Randy "Macho
Man" Savage. And what a distraction she was! Beautiful, sexy but always
a lady - even when the situation forced her to do something unladylike
like konk someone on the back of the head with the heel of her shoe.
Miss Liz. She did it with class, she did it with style and she did it
with most of her clothes on. "Oh Yeahhhh!" Fuck and Run- "The Archives" is right here in case you missed an edition. |