Random thoughts and observations from someone with a short attention span. Did I mention that these were random thoughts?

With the passing of Wilt Chamberlain, I just have to stop and reflect on the fact that here was a man who really had a lot of sex. Seriously, I know heís the only player in NBA history to score 100 points in a game, but I still canít get past the idea he had sex over 10,000 times! There are guys out there whose only goal is to see Star Wars that many times.

It seems strange to find Carlos Santana at the top of the Billboard Charts. And to think he did it without having to show off his belly button or shake his ass. Hopefully, Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young will take heed of this when they begin their tour.

Itís been a few months now since the tragedy, but not a day goes by that I donít reflect on how different my life would be if John F. Kennedy, Jr. were still alive.

Yes, I now own a DVD player, which means I have finally given up on the return of the Give-A-Show Projector.

Speaking of DVDs, just out this week: Stop Making Sense, the amazing concert film by Talking Heads. Leonard Maltin and I agree that itís one of the greatest rock movies ever made, but I still canít help wondering why nobody had the guts or kindness to tell David Byrne that the suit he wears near the end doesnít fit.

Now that Howard Stern and his wife are separating, does this mean I have to give up that warm fuzzy feeling I got after seeing his autobiographical film, Private Parts?

Johnny Cash At Folsom Prison has been remastered and re-released with three previously omitted songs. Itís a great performance that sounds better than ever and for the first time is presented uncensored. That means you get to hear the bleeping swear words.  (P.S. Get better soon, Johnny!)

Did I make it clear earlier that I do not wish to see David Crosby expose his belly button or shake his ass?

In a recent interview, Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones, admitted he still does heroin but not as much as he used to. I, for one, am glad to see that heís finally gotten his act together.

I have to say that Joan Jett is 100% right when she says, "Ya got nothing to lose, ya donít lose when you lose fake friends."

Not a day goes by that I donít stop and ponder how much better my life would be if Pete Rose were allowed his rightful place in Major League Baseballís Hall of Fame.

If looking uncomfortable and barely being able to read lines is considred funny than Collin Quinn is the best Weekend Update anchor in the history of Saturday Night Live.

And with all the bruhaha over SNLís 25th anniversary, howís come everyone overlooks the conributions made by Jim Hensonís Muppets?

If you really want to observe a more worthy milestone, it was 30 years ago that Monty Pythonís Flying Circus first went on the air in the mother country. The show was innovative, ground breaking and - wait for it! - funny. Celebrate itís anniversary by trying to pretend that Eric Idle is not a regular on Suddenly Susan.

As the millennium approaches, I canít help but shudder at the predections made in Zager & Evanís prophetic hit single In The Year 2525. "Everything you think, do and say is in the pill you took today." Chilling.

In conversations about comic geniuses, howís come the name Marty Allen seldom comes up?

The Death Penalty. I do not believe that a jury comprised of ordinary American citizens has the right to decide if another person should be put to death for their crimes. It should be left up to an experienced game show panel.

Rediscovered pleasure: Listening to Law & Order by Lindsey Buckingham.

Three NBC shows sit at the top of the ratings, ER, Fraizer & Friends. All three reside on "Must See TV" Thursdays and as a convenience to viewers the network has scheduled two half-hour bathroom breaks called Jessie and Stark Raving Mad.

A day hasnít gone by that I havenít thought about how my life would change if prop comedian Carrot Top fell in front of a moving bus.