You're takin' me back.  I remember it well.

 

A minute into the MTV Music Awards, you could hear the asshole who signed the incredibly untalented Wayans Brothers as hosts cleaning out his office.  Beyond unfunny, beyond embarrassing, beyond excusable.  Some other thoughts:  Why does Janet Jackson bother to wear a mic when it's so dreadfully obvious that she lip syncs?  Why Kid Rock is allowed to breathe is beyond me.  Jesus, he's even made James King look like hell.  Jennifer Lopez is one fat bitch.  Rage rocks.  If Jakob Dylan didn't want to be known as Bob's son, why didn't he change his name like his dad did? At least he didn't perform.  MACY GRAY IS RETARDED.  Did I miss a song in the Sisqo performance?  That Eminem, he's funny.  Just like on his records.  What a cocksucking, talentless dick.  [Side note, his stupid Puff Daddy-esque new single, "Stan", is possible the worst song ever recorded.  You know the one, the song with the scribbling pencil sound effect in the background so you can tell when it's supposed to be a letter.  Fuck him, and Dre.  For all of you who like that record, in the words of the immortal Lee Ving, "Go die."]  And I thought Britney Spears couldn't have had a more embarrassing performance than she had at the Grammys...  So, I guess the message is, "I'm technically legal.  Fuck me now."  Somebody please explain the appeal of Carson Daly to me.  And in a true bit of comedy, the Napster guy in a Metallica t-shirt was sure a hoot.  Still don't get Jim Carrey, and if he's so popular, why don't people go see his movies?  He likes Eminem to boot.  Speaking of which, Eminem sure grabs his dick a lot, doesn't he?  Chris Rock's bit was boring, but not as boring as the Chili Peppers performance.  Who cares that the hit is a ballad - play a jam and put some socks on your cocks.  And, what's the deal with bringing Shawn Fanning out, and then doing an anti-Napster "ad"?  Moby sucks.  You know, if the guys in N*Sync were good looking, I could understand it.  Who is worse, Fred Durst or Eminem?  I don't know.  If the D'Angelo song "Untitled" is followed by a parenthetical, shouldn't it be called "Subtitled"?  Was this the MTV VMA's or Stars Plug their Movies On Ice?  Who Is Worse, Eminem, Fred Durst or Ben Stiller?  The only thing more uncomfortable than the Richard Hatch & China (sp?) intro to Christina Aguilera's performance was China (sp?)'s pronunciation of Aguilera.  And while Mousesketeer #2's  segment was nothing to crow about (especially since shit breath came on stage), with her live mic, I think she put Ms. Spears to bed early.  I know you're probably surprised that I haven't ragged on the Wayans Jackasses more, but I'm really dumbfounded by how unfunny they were - but truly pleased by how bad the crowd response to them was.  But, for any of you who saw Scary Movie, see above comment from Lee Ving.  Whitney was flat.  And sucks.  As does her husband.  As does Eminem.  As do the Wayans Brothers.  But, the drummer for Blink 182 sure does kick ass.

 

But - all of that, and a trailer for Little Nicky...  Kill me now.

 

Okay, Cameron Diaz put spoot in her hair and people thought it was funny.  (Notice, I said people, and not me - because it wasn't)  Has she done anything of any value?  And, does Charlie's Angels have a hope in hell of being any better than The Mod Squad?  A wall-eyed chink, a woman who willingly accepts Tom Green's cock and ol' cumhead.  Any chance of it being good?  No fucking way.

 

So, Dennis had obviously been told to tone down his crap, and it showed.  But, even his boringness, coupled with the on field team of Melissa "Good Christ, is my head enormous" Stark and her polar noggin opposite cohort Eric "Straight from the set of Beetlejuice" Dickerson couldn't ruin the fantastic open of the 31st Season of MNF.  Now, if the 3 of them all met with malaria or something, we'd be set.

 

Happy Birthday To Thee From LEE This Week©:

09/08/32    Patsy Cline

09/08/42    Sal Valentino

09/09/41    Otis Redding

09/12/88    Maurice Chevalier

09/12/44    Barry White

09/13/25    Mel Torme

09/14/08    Clayton Moore

 

Speaking Of Survivor, nothing to say This Week©.

 

Question Of The Week©:  Who is worse, Fred Durst or Eminem?   

 

©2000 Lee M. Lodyga

http://theleepage.homepage.com