LeeMail- 10-1-99

LEEMail

Who can it be now?

Garthbrooksaschrisgaines News©: Well, I know you've all been waiting for it, and I'm so sorry to say...there's nothing to say. As far as the product goes (with many thanks to my pixie for setting me up), the photos & the artwork are hilarious and pathetic. There's even a photo of Chris in harlequin tights, with his Australian Applesack in white - highlighted against a massive black threaded thigh. The bio and history are sufficiently egomaniacal and absurd. The web site, www.chrisgaines.com, features links to fabricated fan-sites (including one from a 17 year old girl who just can't stop talking about how cute he is). The stage is set. It's a nice one. They had me. But, when it all comes down to it, it's about the music - right? And the record is nothing more than another boring Garth Brooks record - with some "middle-aged rock" tunes thrown in for good measure. There's still a hell of a lot of twang involved, and the "r&b" we were promised sounds more like a motel lounge band covering Michael McDonald era Doobie Brothers tunes. Shame on Don Was for taking the assignment in the first place. He obviously didn't even care enough about the project to make the songs sound like they came from different records, let alone years. Boring, boring, boring. Finally, a TV special with Garth constantly referring to himself in the 3rd person and singing the tunes as GARTH, not Chris Gaines, just adds to the disappointment. The songs even sounded more "country" on the special than they do on the record, and it was nice to see so many SAG actors clapping along to songs they'd never heard before. When all was said & done, it was just a Garth Brooks country music special - complete with K-Mart ads starring the Judds. There's no new audience to be found here. Capitol knows it, Garth Brooks knows it. Chris Gaines is for the millions of deaf people who've bought Garth's records over the years. And why should anyone else really care about Chris Gaines? There's enough shitty pop music out there now to waste time on shitty "pop" music from the last 15 years.

Favorite Song Of All Time This Week©: "Disappointed" - Public Image Ltd.

BTW, the PiL 'Plastic Box' is officially cut-out - so get 'em wherever you can.

LEE on TV This Week©: Not really a new category, but I did watch a few shows this week (other than GB...itloCG)

'It's Like, You Know' - They left two words from the title, it should be 'It's Like, You Know, Not Funny".

'Freaks & Geeks' - If the show takes place in 1980, why would they be playing "Come Sail Away" - a song from 1977 - at a school dance? Sloppy. Actually might watch that one again, even though the lead kid is lousy & annoying as hell.

'TV Guide's Truth Behind The Sitcom Scandals' - Well, screw Maureen McCormick then (or at least try to on the QE2) - and where the hell were Jeremy Gelbwaks & Suzanne Crough. How about Planet DeWitt? Three's Company...in her dress, obviously.

Happy Birthday To Thee This Week From LEE©:

10/01/45 Donny Hathaway

10/01/48 Cub Koda

10/02/98 Groucho Marx (1898)

10/02/51 Gordon Sumner

10/03/38 Eddie Cochran

10/03/41 Chubby Checker

10/05/54 Bob Geldof

Speaking of lousy records, There's a new Stink - er Sting record out called 'Brand New Day' [A&M/Interscope] Should have called it 'Same Old Crap'. Boy, is he over.

LEEnk Of The Week: http://happykidspersonalized.com/jukebox.htm because it made me laugh. And I spent entirely too long there.

10/07/57 American Bandstand premieres on ABC-TV.

I can tell you, for a fact, that I ran over to U.P. Mall after American Bandstand on 2 occasions I remember - to pick up the new records from Adam & The Ants ('Kings Of The Wild Frontier') & the Fabulous Poodles ('Mirror Stars') after seeing them perform on said show. Did a performance on American Bandstand ever drive you to make a purchase?