DANIEL
WATERS RATES THE MOVIES THE LIST IS LIFE 2003Öa pretty pathetic life, at that.
10
(once-in-a-blue-moon masterpiece) 1.
The first movie released in 2003 (jan. 12) is the best
CITY OF GOD
9 (truly excellent)
2. 28 DAYS LATER
3. CHAOS (FRANCE)
4. IRREVERSIBLE
5. FOG OF WAR
6. BETTER LUCK TOMORROW
7. THE MAGDALENE SISTERS
8. SPELLBOUND
9. IN THE CUT (yeah, yeah, fuck all yíall)
10. FINDING NEMO
A symbolic number 11 that could easily be number one or number 51óLORD OF THE KINGS AND STUFFóOkay, on a pure spectacle level, itís one of the greatest movieís ever made, but that troll, and that elf, and even ole Viggo--theyíve been riding the fumes of their iconic firepower for about eight cinematic hours now. Have any of these guys said anything interestingóanything other than a variation on ìOh, we will fight, my brothers, and we will fight to the death.î Maybe Iím too old for this, but then maybe Iím the last of the truly young, for this is some pretty stodgy shit, yo. Heavenly Creatures kicks its ass.
11. LORD OF THE RINGS: RETURN OF THE KING
8 (pretty great)
12. FRIDAY NIGHT
13. GIRLS WILL BE GIRLS
14. MYSTIC RIVER
15. SO CLOSE
16. ELEPHANT
17. CONFUSION OF GENDERS
18. THE WEATHER UNDERGROUND
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APPENDIX: I SHOULD KNOW BETTERÖ.BUT I DONíT
19. TERMINATOR 3óJUDGEMENT DAY
20. KILL BILL VOL. ONE
--Yes, putting the Wal-mart of cult action films so high is morally embarrassingÖbut thereís just so much stuff! Yes, I miss the Mom and Pop cult filmsÖ
21. MATRIX RELOADED
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22. CREMASTER 3
23. LOST IN TRANSLATION
24. THE SON
25. DIRTY PRETTY THINGS
26. LAWLESS HEART
27. MASTER AND COMMANDER
28. BUS 174
29. CHAOS (JAPAN)
30. FREAKY FRIDAY
31. LILYA-4-EVER
32. JAPON
33. MAY
34. NOWHERE IN AFRICA
35. THE COOLER
36. DOWN WITH LOVE
37. THE MAN WITHOUT A PAST
38. AMERICAN SPLENDOR
39. BLIND SPOT-HITLERíS SECRETARY
40. BIG FISH
41. SOMETHINGíS GOTTA GIVE
42. MONSTER
60% MIND BLOWING, 40% MIND NUMBING
43. DEMON LOVER
7 (really good)
44. líauberge espanole
45. school of rock
46. suddenly naked
47. and now ladies and gentlemanÖ
48. hulk
49. the barbarian invasions
50. laurel canyon
51. house of a 1,000 corpses
52. the station agent
53. Mondays in the sun
54. swimming pool
55. die mommie die
56. in the skin
57. divine intervention
58. peter pan
59. pirates of the Caribbean
60. my life without me
61. I capture the castle
62. bad santa
63. holes
64. whale rider
65. my flesh and blood
66. brother bear
67. the secret lives of dentists
68. northfork
69. stone reader
70. x-men 2
71. he loves me, he loves me not
72. old school
73. 21 grams
74. the slaughter rule
75. in America
76. on-line
77. raising victor vargas
78. the good thief
79. suddenly
80. seabiscuit
81. charlieís angels: full throttle
82. stoked
83. sweet sixteen
84. step into liquid
85. open range
86. dummy
87. capturing the friedmans
88. stuck on you
89. city of ghosts
90. the guru
91. winged migration
92. a mighty wind
93. rivers and tides
94. together
95. anger management
96. cold mountain
97. kilometer zero
98. tattoo
99. the triplets of Belleville
100. to be and to have
101. all the real girls
102. camp
103. cowboy bebopóthe movie
104. in this world
105. the returner
106. the recruit
107. girl with a pearl earring
108. what alice found
109. cradle 2 grave
110. house of sand and fog
111. Dracula: pages from a virgins diary
112. carnage
113. stevie
114. manic
115. matchstick men
116. lost in la mancha
117. looney tunes: back in action
6 (just good)
118. le divorce
119. buffalo soldiers
120. owning mahowney
121. the missing
122. ot: our town
123. the in-laws
124. xx/xy
125. man on the train
126. gerry
127. shattered glass
128. Russian ark
129. suspended animation
130. mambo italiano
131. the league of extraordinary gentlemen
132. blue car
133. the runaway jury
134. people I know
135. dopamine
136. mona lisa smile
137. the texas chainsaw massacre
138. cabin fever
139. casa los babys
140. bubba ho-tep
141. identity
142. the eye
143. the dancer upstairs
144. Sylvia
145. Willard
146. ten
147. the anarchistís cookbook
148. the rundown
149. the real cancun
150. under the tuscan sun
151. the other side of the bed
152. gothika
153. the princess blade
154. the bank
155. the core
156. Japanese story
157. the matrix revolutions
158. the housekeeper
159. the safety of objects
160. freddy vs. Jason
161. the Italian job
162. phone booth
163. pieces of april
164. head of state
165. shanghai knights
166. final destination 2
167. once upon a time in mexico
168. full-time killer
169. deliver us from eva
170. wrong turn
171. the flower of evil
172. spun
173. agent cody banks
174. veronica geurin
175. bad boys ii
176. calendar girls
177. once upon a time in the midlands
178. bend it like beckham
30% MIND BLOWING, 70% MIND NUMBING
179. hotel
5 (fair)
180. love actually
181. prey for rock-n-roll
182. herodís law
183. bruce almighty
184. new suit
185. the shape of things
186. dark blue
187. anything but love
188. the human stain
189. charlotte sometimes
190. wonderland
191. lucia, lucia
192. jet lag
193. spy kids 3-d
194. intolerable cruelty
195. out of time
196. elf
197. jeepers creepers 2
198. duplex
199. the singing detective
200. scary movie 3
201. assassination tango
202. the holy land
203. garage days
204. my bossís daughter
205. underworld
206. legally blonde 2
207. love the hard way
208. cheaper by the dozen
209. camera obscura
210. dreamcatcher
211. till human voices wakes us
212. basic
213. levity
214. a guy thing
215. god is greatóIím not
216. daredevil
KINGDOM OF THE OH-MY-GOD OVERRATED
217. the last samurai
218. thirteen
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BURSTING APPENDIX: KIND RATINGS FOR MOVIES THAT FRIENDS AND FAMILY WERE ASSOCIATED WITH THAT I WISH WERE BETTERÖAND SO DO THEY!
219. friends and family
220. daddy day care
221. grind
222. haunted mansion
223. how to deal
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4 (painlessly mediocre)
224. the Hebrew hammer
225. cold creek manor
226. cat in the hat
227. bulletproof monk
228. malibuís most wanted
229. anything else
230. the company
231. gigli
232. the hunted
233. tears of the sun
234. paycheck
235. the medallion
236. pool hall junkies
237. tomb raider 2: cradle of life
238. kangaroo jack
239. bringing down the house
240. the life of david gale
241. dickie Robertsóchild star
242. biker boyz
243. what a girl wants
244. American wedding
10% MIND BLOWING, 90% MIND NUMBING
245. masked and anonymous
3 (painFULLy mediocre)
246. the statement
247. love donít cost a thing
248. honey
249. beyond borders
250. the order
251. ordinary sinner
252. Johnny English
253. house of fools
254. party monster
255. s.w.a.t.
256. alex and emma
257. how to lose a guy in ten days
258. a man apart
259. the lizzie Maguire movie
260. radio
261. timeline
262. national security
263. passionada
264. confidence
2 (just plain bad)
265. 2 fast 2 furious
266. uptown girls
267. Hollywood homicide
268. dischord
269. dumb and dumberer
1 (truly painful)
270. just married
271. the battle of shaker heights
272. from Justin and Kelly
273. marci x
274. a view from the top
275. house of the dead
276. boat trip
0 (once in a blue moon shitstorm)
Nothing that bad this year
OhÖand the first movie of 2004 is also a 90% mindblowerÖ.SECRET THINGSóitís French, at the Nuart, what do you mean, you donít care?