Open up your eyes just to check that your asleep again.  President Gas is President Gas again.

 

Fucking W.  See what you assholes did?  We've got Attorney General Jack Asscroft holding daily bible study at the Capitol and gas at $9.00 a gallon.  And there's still 3 1/2 years to go...

 

Favorite Album Of All Time This Week©:  Blowfly For President - Blowfly

 

Okay, that Mrs. Beasley in The Matrix lookin' limey on Weakest Link has got to go.  Jesus, where's a director when you need one?  She says "weakestlink" the same goddamn way every goddamn time.  Try changing things up once in a while, Smurfette.  Man, anything to develop a new catch phrase.  The "goodbye" thing was old the second time she said it.   And her "comedy" gets real stale after 10 minutes, doesn't it?  Sure, pick on everyone Sally Jesse - you're real tough when the lighting cues are on your side.  Have you noticed now she's not sharp enough to respond when one of the players take a shot at her?  Guess the writers can't feed her anything through that earpiece quick enough.  The parallels to the set/lighting/music are way too close to Millionaire, so I guess it's really just another reason to hate Regis.  All & all: bad host, bad show, bad time for everybody.  The Weakest Link?  I'd say it's Anne Robinson.

 

Speaking of comedy & the weakest link - I'm shocked that people didn't flock to see Freddy Got Fingered.  That thing sure came & went.  But why was it such a flop?  Come on, he's the Eminem of comedy.  If the retarded/deaf/moronic/youradjectivehere critics and record buyers who fawn over Mr. Mathers' brilliance can't see the genius of sucking on a cow's udder, I guess there's something afoot.  Honestly, what's the difference between those two?  Guy writes song about obsessed fan - guy writes movie about pretending to have been molested.  Both socially relevant issues - both handled in comparable ways.  Is it because Eminem's black - or, at least that he wants to be?  Is it that Tom Green's white trash and that went out with Kid Rock?  Maybe if Dr. Dre would have directed Freddy Got Fingered, perceptions would be different.

 

Favorite Song Of All Time This Week©:  "Oliver's Army" - Elvis Costello & The Attractions.  Figure it out.

 

Speaking of E.C. - We're all gonna have to buy the catalog again.  (For me, Kojak for the first time.)  You know, I really don't mind.  I just got the XTC remasters from Japan in groovy miniature LP sleeves complete with all, and I mean ALL, of the original packaging elements.  They're beautiful and they sound incredible.  Yes, this will be the fourth time I've bought Trust on CD, and I doubt that the record will sound that much better.  (Truth be told, I think the Demon CD of Trust has sounded the best of all 3 out so far...)  But folks, it's Trust!  So it's 15 more bucks.  Get over it.  Or don't - but don't bitch.  In my life, I've bought US pressings, UK pressings, Half Speed Mastered Pressings and 180 gram Virgin Vinyl Pressings of the same goddamn record.  Then I got the CD.  It's all relative, baby.  Hey, the upcoming Rhino reissues of the Ramones catalog will return "Carbona, Not Glue" to Leave Home.  You gonna complain about that?

 

Happy Birthday To Thee From LEE This Week©:

05/18/34    Dwayne Hickman

05/19/45    Pete Townshend

05/19/52    Joey Ramone

05/20/40    Joe Cocker

05/24/41    Bob Dylan

05/24/66    Jim Boger

 

Question Of The Week 1©:  Was Samantha Fox ever hot or was it just that she showed her tits?

 

Kiss Me DeadLEE A Year Ago This Week©:

Eva Jagger, 87.  Mick's mom.  May 18.

Mark Hughes, 44.  Founder of Herbalife.  May 21.

Barbara Cartland, 98.  Romance novelist.  May 21.

Sir John Gielgud, 96.  Actor.  May 21.

 

Album Of The Year This Week©:  Regeneration - The Divine Comedy.  Why no one in the US is jumping to distribute this gem is beyond me.  This is a great one folks.  Neil Hannon's brilliant songwriting is fleshed out by a stellar band and exceptional production by Nigel Godrich.  Acquire this one however you must.  You will not be disappointed.

 

Hypothetical Question Of The Week©:  Is the new R.E.M. album called Reveal because Michael Stipe came out?  If so, shouldn't it have been called Duh?

 

Wingspan.  Well, Paul's got another hit record and I'm very happy about that.  Unfortunately, I'm a little perplexed about the accompanying TV special.  Was it a history of Paul?  Paul & Linda?  Wings?  I mean, only a Macca geek would know why the show ended where it did and why they played "Coming Up" under the credits.  I'm sure most folks were left scratching their heads saying, "And..."  I mean, if it was all about their undying love, what about the whole Linda dying thing?  Speaking of the record, the TV special sure was a poor-ass advertisement for it.  Where were the goddamn tunes?  It should have been BAM! BAM! BAM! with hits.  It's a shame that "Mull Of Kintyre" wasn't a smash over here.  It should have been.  But it wasn't.  (Anyone else remember seeing the "video" premiere on The Midnight Special?)  Word to ABC & Capitol/MPL:  when preparing projects like this, do an edit that makes sense for AMERICAN AUDIENCES.  We should have gotten "Listen To What The Man Said" and "Silly Love Songs" jammed down our throats.  Let the audience know how many goddamn hits Wings had - they'll buy the record!  (Which if you haven't, you should.  It's fantastic.)  Who really gives a fuck that Linda used to wear two different socks.  Sorry Sir, a fashion plate and trend-setter Linda wasn't.  (All you Ono haters, remember this - Yoko never had a mullet.)  Now, don't get me wrong.  It wasn't all bad.  There was some great footage and aside from Joe English looking just like Gene Simmons, it was great to watch.  Paul certainly did do what none of the other Beatles did in that time - reestablish himself as a hit maker outside of that identity.  Now, whether he's your favorite Beatle or not, you've got to give him that.  God Bless Mr. McCartney.  And do yourselves a favor and pull out your copies of Press To Play.  Man, that's a good one!