LeeMail- 03/02/01

LEEMail

Ev'rybody's talking about Bagism, Shagism, Dragism, Madism, Ragism, Tagism, Thisism, Thatism

Just a few observations about Grammy 2001:

Jon Stewart almost made me long for Rosie. Paul Simon proved, while trying to do his best David Byrne, that he hasn't made a good record since 1986. Shelby Lynne's caterwaul with Sheryl Crow proved that neither of them deserved a Best New Artist Grammy, and Shelby's comment on how important it is to "be an individual" makes me question why she so heavily ripped off Dusty In Memphis for her record. Macy Gray confirmed that she not only sounds like the bastard child of Donald Duck & Carol Channing, but that she also sucks ass. The Moby/Jill Scott/Blue Man Group clusterfuck showed that there's absolutely nothing to Moby's music and that his songs are truly crap. Christina Aguilera proved that bad outfits transcend genres, as does out of control howling. Why did the Best Native American Recording winners thank Jesus? Isn't he the White Man's "creator"? And Jesus is the "greatest warrior"? Okay, next year, them injuns need to end up in the "in ceremonies held earlier" segment. EminElton? Zzzzzzz. Period. Come on, people - it's a lousy song. Ooh, the pains of being a jackass on your records and having people think that's who you really are. Give me a break. Anyone who seriously thinks that should have been nominated for, let alone won Album of the Year obviously hasn't heard it. Sure Em, that funny bit about ICP sucking each other's dicks is as good as anything on - oh, side 2 of Abbey Road, isn't it. Art? But an F in front of it and you're closer. But, I digress... There were a few high points. U2 brought that elder statesman cool to the show, and their performance was true rock & roll. Toni Braxton is WAY hotter than J Lo and the Heineken ads were better than any of the commercials at this year's Super Bowl.

Question Of The Week 1©:

Now, it's obvious that Steely Dan got their awards in respect of their catalog & past - much in the same way Santana & Bonnie Raitt swept prior awards. (Come on, do you really think Supernatural was worthy of all of those accolades? Where were the Grammys for Abraxas? Or even fucking Inner Secrets?) Everyone's so vocal this year and has something so damn funny to say about how crappy Steely Dan is. So, those of you who are so upset about Steely Dan winning Album Of The Year - tell me why that's a more embarrassing choice than these prior winners:

Celine Dion - Falling Into You

The Bodyguard soundtrack

Natalie Cole - Unforgettable... With Love

Quincy Jones - Back On The Block

Speaking of talentless people - Courtney Love is suing Geffen/UMG because blahblahblah bad contract blahblahblah 7 years blahblahblah repressive and unfair working conditions blahblahblah. Hey retard, if the guy who wrote everything on your breakthrough album hadn't shot himself in the head you wouldn't be in this trouble. I hope she presents a photo of Geffen twisting her arm in order to get her to sign that contract in court. What a stupid bitch. Hole indeed!

Happy Birthday To Thee From LEE This Week©:

02/02/42 Lou Reed

02/06/45 Hugh Grundy

02/07/43 Chris White

02/07/45 Arthur Lee

02/08/45 Micky Dolenz

Victory for Reality TV Haters: Temptation Island. Okay, there was zero payoff. It was fun to laugh at those people and revel in their stupidity - but their stupidity in all staying together ruined everything. And I mean everything.

Victory for LEE: The Mole. Kick ass television with a fantastic finish. You know, this one was a lot of fun, and had me truly surprised at the very end. Who needs real actors when you've got real people like Kathryn who are worlds more enjoyable and convincing than the majority of overpaid idiots on the small screen. Of course, the "clues" they gave as filler Wednesday Night were pretty lame, but a damn good Joe all around.

Victory for ALL smart enough to take advantage of it: Survivor. Well, there's obviously nothing I can say to sway any of you boycotters, but - MAN - are you missing some great television.

John Colicos, 71. Actor (Baltar on Battlestar Galactica, Mikkos Cassadine on General Hospital and the first actor to play a Klingon on Star Trek). March 06.

Frank "Pee Wee" King, 86. Songwriter ("Tennessee Waltz"). March 07

So I keep seeing these Rogaine ads where the guys are mad at their Dads because they're losing their hair. Now, I only got a B in science, but I thought that the baldness trait came from your mother.

Uh, Neil Young is opening up for the Dave Matthews Band? Uh, what? Come on, Neil - I'd almost forgiven you for Looking Forward...