|
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, who said to her boyfriend Angel, "Iím just having a salad, but youíre getting a stake for dinner." Didnít get on the list!
Pamela Anderson Lee, who unfortunately thought she was talking to a hairdresser when she told a plastic surgeon to "Just take some off the top." Didnít get on the list! Madonna, who claims she was never in love with Warren Beatty and only dated him because she liked the way he played Dick Tracy. Didnít get on the list! Jenny McCarthy. Yes, a very sexy woman. But when people refer to her big bust she doesnít know if theyíre talking about her breasts or canceled sitcom. She didnít get on the list!
Sandra Bullock, who looked at the box office totals for "Speed 2" and "Titanic" and said, "I should have gotten on the boat that sank!" Didnít get on the list! Heidi Klum, a model for Victoriaís Secrete. I saw the catalog. There are no secrets! Didnít get on the list!! Nicole Kidman, who starred with her husband Tom Cruise in Stanley Kubrickís "Eyes Wide Shut." There was so much sex in that movie it should have been called "Legs Wide Open." She was hot, she was sexy, she was naked. But she doesnít get on the list! Alyssa Milano. From daddyís girl on "Whoís The Boss" to hot mama on the internet. Didnít get on the list!!! Super model Cindy Crawford, whose acting was so bad in her first movie with William Baldwin that it stopped her from moving on to bigger and better things. Like a movie with Daniel Baldwin. Didnít get on the list! Monica Lewinsky, the poor girl. So misunderstood. What she told the President was she wanted to get ahead in the White House. Didnít get on the list! Joan of Arc, a great and courageous babe in history. A true Smokiní Hottie whose last words were, "Is it hot or is it just me?" Didnít get on the list!!
Editorís Note: When last seen, the author was wandering down the street, bouncing from foot-to-foot with a hand cupped over his ear. |
In
the tradition and spirit of show biz legend Red Buttons, here is a
"roasting" rundown on some of the women who....
Jennifer
Lopez, who caused a scandal when she
turned to her date Puffy Combs and asked, "Is that a gun in your
pocket or are you just happy to see me?" Didnít
get on the list!
Mariah
Carey, God bless her. A woman who has more
hits than Sammy "The Bull" Gravano, but sings less. Didnít
get on the list!
Phyllis
Diller...wait a minute, the spirit of Red
Buttons is becoming too strong...itís taking control...strange things
are happening. Ho Ho, Hee Hee....