This oneís pretty self-explanatory. These are the people that make me reach for the remote when they pop up on my TV screen.

1. Howie Long & Terri Hatcher for Radio Shack

Hands down the most annoying couple on television today. And why are they hanging out together in the first place? I know, canít a man and woman be friends and insult one another without it having to mean anything? Yes, it worked for James Garner and Mariette Hartley in those old Polaroid commercials, but they had what is referred to in the industry as chemistry. With Long and Hatcher you just get the feeling theyíre one witty remark away from an ugly shouting match and/or stabbing. And speaking of ugly, has anyone ever gone from hot babe to scary hag faster than Miss Hatcher without the aid of heroin addiction? (Okay, besides Courtney Cox.)

2. William Shatner for Priceline.com

I get it, heís doing a spoof of himself. Remember when he made those god awful albums back in his Star Trek heyday? Yeah, Captain Kirk sings Bob Dylan. Set your speakers for stun. Now old Golden Throat is using his lack of talent to make a bundle by telling you how you can get things cheap on the Internet. Hey, Shanter, how much for that thing on your head? One can never have too many squirrel decoys.

3. Mini Arsenio Hall for 1-800-Collect

All right, this one is just creepy. I mean, letís forget the fact that Eddie Murphyís former sidekick hasnít exactly set the entertainment world on fire since he stepped away from his gig as a late night talk show host. (Címon, playing second fiddle to a chubby kung fu dude on a show so bad it couldnít even make a go of it on Saturday nights! Thatís just sad.) No, what baffles me is some Madison Avenue Brainiac actually walked into a conference room and pitched the idea of shrinking Arsenio down to Tom Thumb like proportions and no one had the common sense to get up and toss him out an open window. I guess it could be worse. Every time I see him sitting on that payphone hawking a long distance service, Iím just thankful heís not doing a condom ad. (File under "things that make you go ick.")

4. Jeff Goldblum for iMac

Good idea. Get that gangly actor who hasnít done much lately to sell your computers. Of course heís excited about what they can do. Because what they can do is fatten his bank account. And I donít get why Goldblumís hot babe movie costars like Geena Davis and Laura Dern wound up jumping in the sack with him. Heís not that good looking, heís not that popular and he was in The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai for crying out loud. Wow, come to think of it, except for the Buckaroo Banzai part, he has a lot in common with the product heís promoting.

5. Eva Savelot for 1-800-Collect

How good could Alyssa Milanoís career be going if she has to use an alias in this series of TV spots? "Remember me, I used to be Tony Danzaís kid on Whoís The Boss? Now Iím just roaming around chastising people for spending too much money on long distance calls." And she thought it was embarrassing having her nudie pictures posted on the Internet.

6. The Pepsi Brat (Hallie Kate Eisenberg)

When this spoiled little malcontent didnít get the beverage of her choice, she open her mouth and Joe Pesciís voice came out. Then she got a backstage pass to pal around with Faith Hill and ruined what couldíve been a perfectly good commercial. You know, just Faith Hill looking pretty and drinking a Pepsi. Now, thereís an ad! Sheís also to blame for one of Aretha Franklinís most embarrassing moments. No, not Blues Brothers 2000. (Although the script does seem like it was written by an eight year old.) Iím talking about the commercial where the Queen of Soul jumps up from her booth in a diner and shouts, "You go girl!" Sigh. And what kind of parents let their little girl paint her face and jam with Gene Simmons and Kiss? The "Joy of Cola," my ass.

7. Sela Ward for Sprint

I wouldnít kick her out of bed for eating crackers, but youíve gotta admit she seems a bit too jazzed about Sprintís long distance savings plan. Besides, itís not a good idea to make an important decision based on the advice of a woman doing the mambo.

8. Bad Andy for Dominoís

Yeah, like I want to chow down on a pizza after this mangy little freakís been playing around in the kitchen. Whereís a health inspector when you need one? And what the hell is Bad Andy anyway? Looks like the anorexic offspring of Rowlf the Dog and that thing on top of William Shatnerís head. (See number two above.) Bad? You got that right.

9. Jamie Lee Curtis for Voice Stream wireless service

First off, I donít even understand what these commercials are about. Okay, she got a guy to help her fix her car over the phone, but whatís the deal with the dinner party and elevator escapades? "Thank god Iíve got my cell phone, otherwise Iíd never have the good sense to crawl under the table and vamoose!" And whatís up with all the suggestive flirting? Isnít she happily married to Christopher Guest?

10. Jared the Subway lard butt