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Someone please explain to me why Rosie O'Donnell was invited back to host this year's shindig. Are there really that many people out there who think she's funny? Yes, Rosie, there was a good reason for everyone at the Grammys to thank God. Not for winning, but for you not having the same fashion designer as Jennifer Lopez. Geeze, Andy Williams was even funnier than Rosie O'Donnell. And it was nice of the Grammys to make him look younger by letting him present an award with Phil Collins. The Latin Explosion seemed to dominate the festivities this year. Isn't it a shame that Ricky Martin got to shake his money maker on national television but Tito Puente had to accept his award in ceremonies held prior to the evening's telecast? In the battle of the belly buttons, Christina Aquilera beat out Britney Spears as Best New Artist. To show there were no hard feelings, afterwards the two of them went out and had dinner with Debbie Gibson and Tiffany. The Backstreets Boys performed an a cappella medley of old cover tunes and in the process proved there are some white people out there who actually have less soul than Micheal Bolton. Those very same Backstreet Boys also sang back-up for Living Legend award winner Elton John, who couldn't decided which of his many good songs to perform, so he did one of his crappy ones instead, Philadelphia Freedom.
Sending out an S.O.S. - Sting, you're making me sleepy! And how could voters give you the award for Best Male Pop Vocal instead of Lou Bega, whose snappy little Mambo No. 5 glorifies the great rock and roll tradition of bangin' a lot of babes. This is only one man's opinion, but I personally believe that Kid Rock is just exploiting that midget. Briefly taking a look at a contest of a different kind: I am shocked! Shocked that the Who Wants To Marry A Millionaire marriage didn't last! It totally destroys my faith in the sanctity of the American game show. Barry White was a double Grammy winner but didn't show up to collect his bounty. It seems he's still miffed that he lost the Best New Artist Award to Bette Midler back in 1974. Hey, at least he didn't get beat out by a crap act like A Taste of Honey. Yes, one can't help but look back at past Grammys and snicker. Remember Christopher Cross? I think he won like eighty five awards one year for his first album, released a second album and then went sailing off the face of the earth. (I think in the same boat with Michael McDonald.) There was also that Milli Vanilli fiendish thingy. They had to give back their Grammy when it was discovered they didn't actually sing on their album. Hell, they should've gotten a bigger award for not singing on it The big winner of the night was David Duchovny, who got to present an award with Jennifer Lopez and then go home to Tea Leoni. (Then again, maybe Tea was the big winner, if you catch my drift.) The second biggest winner was Carlos Santana, who gathered up a grand total of eight Grammy Awards, including record, song and album of the year. His live performance on the program gave me an idea how they could have made the show a lot better. Stretch out his guitar solo to three hours and tell everybody else to go home.
Fuck and Run- Volume 7 is right here in case you missed it... |
You're
walking down the road when you come across two guys standing next to a
sign that says, "We'll dump a bucket of shit on you for a
dollar." You pay them a dollar and they dump a bucket of shit on
you. Yelling at them for doing that is a lot like watching the Grammys
and then complaining about who the winners are.
Jennifer
Lopez. I am almost
speechless. One thing's for sure, unlike her boyfriend Puff Daddy,
she'll never get arrested for carrying a concealed weapon.
Kudos
to the Dixie Chicks for picking up two awards and giving us a
video that shows the lighter side of spousal abuse. No harm, no foul, if
you just kill the guy.
And
the biggest surprise of the evening: Mitch Miller is still
alive!!