Cubs Behaving Badly

Those damn Cubs. I thought rooting for a perennial loser was painful, but rooting for a team that is expected to go to the playoffs but doesnít is pure torture. Almost every game meant something this year and that was way too much pressure for this Cub fan to handle. And to think they were in the thick of the wild card race right up until the final weekend of the season! Oh well, thereís always next year.

In a related story, Sammy Sosa showed up late for the last day of work and left early because he was tired of being picked on. The Cubs fined Sammy $87,400, which is nothing to sneeze at, but donít feel too bad. Itís only a dayís pay for Sosa, so he should be able to get by this winter despite the increase in oil prices. There is something that bothers me though. Sammy said he didnít leave the ballpark until the seventh inning of the game, but security cameras show he took off fifteen minutes after the game started. Wow, you donít think Sammy could have been lying about his corked bat, too, do ya?

I would be remiss if I talked about the Cubsí season without mentioning the feud between the players and announcer Steve Stone. Apparently, the Cubbies didnít like Stone saying bad things about them just because they were doing bad things on the field. And they didnít like him saying good things about the opposing teams when they did good things on the field. This all came to a head at the end of the season when Stone had the audacity to question some of the moves made by manager Dusty Baker. And to think this all could have been avoided if he and Chip had just given a few of the players some snappy nicknames.

Elsewhere in the world....

In a recent interview on ABCís "20/20," the artist formerly known as Cat Stevens hinted that he may be making a singing comeback soon and might even use his non Muslim stage name. So thatís why heís considered a terror threat by the U.S. government! (BTW - Cat Stevens did carry a bomb onto a place once. But he was only taking a copy of "Izitso" to someone as a gift.)

The good news is Jay Leno is stepping down as host of "The Tonight Show" when his current contract expires in five years. The bad news is Jay Leno will still be the host of "The Tonight Show" until his current contract expires in five years.

Did you see that ESPN movie about Pete Roseís gambling and haircut woes? It was okay, I guess, but why did they get Nick Tortelli to play Charlie Hustle? And howís come Peter Bogdanovich signed on to direct "Hustle"? It certainly canít look good on his resume next to "The Last Picture Show," "Paper Moon" and "Mask." But what can you expect from the guy who let Burt Reynolds and Cybill Shepherd sing in "At Long Last Love"?

Traci Gold arrested on a DUI and Macauley Culkin busted for drugs. Paul Peterson must be rolling over in his grave.

Lenny Bruce knew how to talk dirty and influence people and now you can hear how he did it by picking up "Let The Buyer Beware," a six CD box set box containing many of Bruceís classic routines and a shitload of unreleased material. Yes, Lenny opened the door and pushed the envelope, but this box set exposes him for what he really was: A very funny cat who could make people laugh.

Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston have their own reality series. In episode one, they look up the word "reality" in the dictionary.

And speaking of reality shows, have you seen any of the lip action going on between Flavor Flav and Brigitte Nielsen in the new season of "The Surreal World"? Suddenly watching people eat live bugs or get covered with snakes on "Fear Factor" doesnít seem so bad, does it.

Mike Wallace. Dan Rather. Who would have thought Andy Rooney would wind up as the guy holding up the integrity of CBS News?

The Americans lost to Europe in the Ryder Cup again this year and Iíd just like to offer these words of encouragement to our team: Itís golf, boys, nobody cares.

When I first heard that Brian Wilson was going to re-record and finish his legendary "SMiLE" album, I thought it was a bad idea. But guess what? Itís brilliant!! And somewhere Mike Love is getting ready to take the stage and sing "Fun, Fun, Fun" and "California Girls" for the millionth kazillionth time.

You can buy the custom designed Estaban guitar on QVC for three low payments of just $66. What I want to know is how much for the snazzy hat?

Jason Alexander, Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Michard Richards have all starred in failed sitcoms that went off the air quicker than you can say, "Iím out!"  Now Alexander is starring in a new CBS sitcom with Theo of "The Cosby Show." And people talk about the Cubs and Red Sox being cursed!

And finally (yes, here come those tears again), F&R bids farewell to some more friends: Johnny Ramone, Bruce Palmer, Christopher Reeve and Rodney Dangerfield.

Johnny is the third Ramone to leave us and the second to fall victim to cancer. Bruce Palmer secured his place in rock and roll history by playing bass for Buffalo Springfield. Christopher Reeve played Superman in the movies but courageously met his greatest challenge in real life after a fall from a horse left him paralyzed. And Rodney Dangerfield was the king of the one liners, a great standup comic who became a superstar when he appeared in "Caddyshack." No respect? Just a gag line. The man was a legend. And if you want a second opinion, he was funny, too. Gabba Gabba Hey.