I swore Iíd never let the Chicago Cubs break my heart again, but they got me real good this time. Just five outs away from the World Series and then Lucy pulled the football away from Charlie Brown again. Of course, thereís nothing like a good scapegoat to ease the pain, but to blame the whole collapse on one misguided fan is rather silly if you ask me. I mean, all the goofballs around him were reaching for the ball, too, you know, and he wasnít the guy who booted the play at shortstop, was he? Besides, a championship team would have recovered and won Game Seven, right? I mean, thatís what I came up with to help me get out of bed the next morning and go through the motions of everyday life.

Early on during the Game Seven broadcast, the Fox announcers stood up for the fan and urged people to leave him alone. Of course, this didnít stop them from mentioning the fanís name over and over, but at least they didnít superimpose his address on that ugly promotional sign the network hung on the wall behind home plate.

The World Series on Fox: Yankees vs. Marlins. The team everybody loves to hate against the team nobody cares about. Hmm, is there some sort of Joan Rivers curse we should be talking about here?

Is it just me or is this whole Iraq situation beginning to sound more and more like a bad senior prom experience? First we couldnít get anyone to go with us except our Mother Country and now it turns out no one wants to take part in the cleanup committee. Maybe thatís what we get for choosing "Weapons of Mass Destruction" as a theme instead of playing it safe with "Color My World."

Can Simon & Garfunkel really get back together for a reunion tour and not find themselves splashing around in the same old troubled waters? Rumor has it thereís already a disagreement over Simonís take from the sale of Garfunkel wigs at each venue and Artie threw a hissy fit when Paul asked the stage crew to make a special backdrop for a Capeman medley "just in case." Oh, that Rhyminí Simon. Mom always did like him best.

Courtney Love. Blah-blah-blah act of violence. Blah-blah-blah drugs. Blah-blah-blah-blah-blah arrested by police. But on a happy note - at least she kept her clothes on.

Okay, so howís come the new Guns ëN Roses album has been in the works for ten years and still isnít out, but "on the lam" terrorist leaders like Osama Bin Laden and Saddam Hussein can release a new tape every other month? Granted, the quality doesnít live up to their earlier releases, but at least theyíre getting the work done.

Rapper C-Murder convicted of murder. Does anyone else see the irony?

Arnold Schwarzenegger was elected Governor of California despite the revelation heís had a history of sexually harassing and groping women. He said he was sorry and apparently that was enough for the voters, but Iím not convinced. I mean, just because heís married to a Kennedy, it doesnít give him the right to act like one.

Der Arnold was also in hot water because he allegedly made comments in the past that praised Adolph Hitler. So what did he say? That he wished he could be like Hitler so he could fondle and grope women and execute anyone who tried to stop him?

Arianna Huffington dropped out of the race prior to the election because a poll showed that most voters in California wouldnít vote for someone who reminded them of one of the Gabor sisters.

Rush Limbaugh. Loud mouth and drug addict. Well, not real drugs. Rush is addicted to pain killers. So now heís in rehab and when he comes out everyone will have forgotten about his infamous Donovan McNabb commentary on ESPN. But only because Limbaugh is a white fat-assed conservative and weíd all like to see a white fat-assed conservative make a comeback after falling from grace, right?

The Universal Music Group is cutting its list prices by thirty percent this month in an effort to entice consumers to buy their music instead of getting it free by swapping files over the Internet. Now this has me baffled because I honestly believed the record companies when they told us they had to charge $18.98 for their CDs if they expected to stay in business and prevent the earth from spinning off itís axis and crashing into the sun. Poor poor gullible me.

One Simple Rule About Network Television: You donít end a hit show just because the star suddenly dies. From everything Iíve read, John Ritter was one helluva nice guy and the fact that he left behind a young daughter makes his passing especially sad. But wouldnít admitting the show canít go on without him be a better tribute to Ritter than scrambling around to keep the ship afloat because "John would have wanted that way"? And if you donít agree with me, try watching episodes of "Chico & The Man" without Freddie Prinze, "The Royal Family" without Redd Foxx or "News Radio" without Phil Hartman.

In an interview last month, singer R. Kelly complained about being persecuted and said Osama Bin Laden is the only one who knows exactly what heís going through. And yet you donít hear anything about country music stations dropping his music from their play lists!

Actor Gordon Jump is dead. Most of us remember him as Arthur Carlson, the general manager of WKRP in Cincinnati. He also took over the role as the Maytag Repairman from Jesse White in 1989. And then there was that "very special" episode of "Diffírent Strokes" where Jump played a child molester trying to get Arnold and his friend Dudley to play Tarzan with him. Creepy stuff. Why? Because if "The Big Guy" could be a child molester, then anyone could be one.

Kelly Osbourneís first CD has already been re-released with a new name and a new duet with daddy Ozzy to help boost sales. Man, am I glad I didnít shell out the bucks and buy the original version eleven months ago!

72-year-old Don Zimmer ran out onto the field during a brawl, took a wild swing at Pedro Martinez and then went tumbling to the ground like a defective Weeble after Martinez grabbed him by the noggin and slammed him. And now Zim says heíll quit after the World Series because the Yankees organization didnít give him the respect he deserves. Wha?

So Iím watching the new Jewel video and sheís all serious and singing about monks, Woody Guthrie and a homeless man, and then all of a sudden sheís taking a shower. Iím sorry, but this just sends me mixed messages. "The world has got me very upset but donít I look hot butt naked and wet?" Sassy!!

A big fourth quarter for CD and DVD releases will help drain my checking account and send my credit card totals skyrocketing. Weíve got the second album by The Strokes, a new CD from Van Morrison and two each from Paul Westerberg and Ryan Adams. Plus three Fleetwood Mac double disc reissues, an R.E.M. "best of," and a Talking Heads box set. And on the DVD front thereís two seasons worth of "The Dick Van Dyke Show," the fourth season of "The Sopranos" and "Lennon Legend."

No, I didnít forget about "Let It Be...Naked." Capitol is finally releasing the album as The Beatles had originally intended it, only with a silly name. And yet in another touch of irony, the strings and studio chatter added by legendary producer Phil Spector have been removed from the album just as the possibility of Spector himself being removed from society becomes more and more likely.

On the other side of the new release coin, Mariah Carey will have a remix collection on the shelves just in time for the holiday season. This, of course, in lieu of an actual new album to compete with the latest from a much younger and perkier Britney Spears. Hopefully, this rehash of Mariahís old hits will come with a video companion piece. All her old videos, only this time she has even less clothes on.

More sad notes. F&R bids farewell to author George Plimpton, singer Robert Palmer and actor Larry Hovis. One was the Paper Lion, one was simply irresistible and the other was Sgt. Carter on "Hoganís Heroes." All of them played a special part in shaping our world as we know it and they will be missed.

And finally...

First Warren Zevon and then Johnny Cash. It was like taking a hard blow to the stomach followed by a swift knockout punch to the head. Warren Zevon was a unique talent who gave us a lot of great music and left us with one last masterpiece as his way of saying good-bye.  Johnny Cash was, well, JOHNNY CASH! The work speaks for itself. And the man needs no obituary because he has become a part of our lives. Somewhere Luther is playing the boogie and Johnny & June are smiling down on us. And yes, thatís Mother Maybelle joining in on her Gibson L-5 guitar. Ah, now thatís what I call heaven!

"Ah, I'd love to wear a rainbow every day, And tell the world that everything's OK, But I'll try to carry off a little darkness on my back, 'Till things are brighter, I'm the Man In Black."	"Shadows are falling and I'm running out of breath ... If I leave you it doesn't mean I love you any less/ Keep me in your heart for a while,"
Letterman asked Zevon if he had learned anything about life and death since his diagnosis. Perhaps hinting at his epitaph, Zevon answered, "How much you're supposed to enjoy every sandwich."