F & R
Pretty Much Your Standard Random Thoughts
Normally, Iíd chastise a music "artist" for selling out, but in the case of Jewel, I never really cared much for her music anyway and, more importantly, VA-VA-VOOM! Yes, thatís the poetess of rock on the cover of Blender Magazine looking hot and sassy in her sexy bondage friendly outfit. And then thereís her new video where she gets hosed down by a group of manly fireman. Jewel justifies it by saying itís so over the top itís silly and sheís really lampooning the way sex sells today. Ah, hooter driven satire. Mark Russell must be green with envy.

Fans waited in line for hours to buy a copy of the fifth Harry Potter book when it went on sale at midnight at book stores across the country. Fortunately, this gave them something to read as they bought their copy and immediately got back in line to wait for book six to come out.

Speaking of books, Hillary Rodam Clinton wrote one. I guess she had a few things she had to set straight before she makes her eventual run for the White House. Oh yeah, she wants to be the first woman President of the United States. And maybe sheíll ask her lyiní cheatiní husband to be her running mate. After all, itíll probably be the first time heís been under his wife since Chelsea was conceived.

BTW - In her book, Hillary says she feels sorry for Monica Lewinsky. And keep in mind, this was written before "Mr. Personality" premiered.

Michael Jackson recently visited his hometown of Gary, Indiana, which means he finally had a practical purpose for that mask he wears to cover his face. It was the first time Jackson had gone back to his old Indiana stomping grounds in over twenty years and there were so many changes that he hardly even recognized it. Oddly enough, the city felt the same way about Jackson.

Have you seen the promos for Whoopi Goldbergís new sitcom? Not even remotely funny. And isnít that the old set from "The Golden Palace" theyíre using as the hotel?

A big snafu in the Sammy Sosa corked bat incident almost got the Cubs slugger suspended for a lot longer than seven games. It seems that an x-ray the league office examined showed more cork in another one of Sammyís bats, but then someone realized they were really looking at the x-ray taken of Sosaís head after that beaning incident a couple of months ago.

Mel Gibson has made a movie about the last twelve hours of the life of Jesus Christ and it was filmed entirely in Aramaic and Latin without the use of subtitles. And yet somehow heís having trouble finding a distributor for it.

Apparently, 41-year-old Demi Moore has a new boy toy and heís Ashton Kutcher, the 25-year-old star of "That 70ís Show" and MTVís "Punkíd." Now when an older male actor starts fooliní around with a hot young chickie, the press rants about a dirty old man going through a mid-life crises, but when an older woman... Ah, what the hell. Way to go Kelso!!

Empire Maker spoiled Funny Cideís shot at the Triple Crown by winning the Belmont Stakes and the question begs to be asked: Why do they give these horses such stupid names?

Okay, so youíre a talented young performer who just sang and danced your heart out on an episode on the new "Fame" series and then you have to stand there and take critique from Carney Wilson?? I think I see a trend here. Talent competition shows hire has-been pop singers with eating disorders to become judges because American viewers love their ability to babble incoherently. Thank you so much, Paula Abdul.

Lastly, we bid farewell to Gregory Peck, a great actor and a true class act as a human being. Recently, the American Film Institute named his portrayal of Atticus Finch in "To Kill A Mockingbird" as the number one movie hero of all time. Yeah, thereís a lot of guys who could shoot ëem up and kick ass, but it took a man of real courage to stop an angry mob of white southern bigots from lynching a wrongfully accused black man in the 1930ís. And it took an actor with Peckís talent and integrity to bring that role to life on the silver screen.