|
F & R 57 Channels (And You Know The Rest) In the first step to honor the major networksí agreement to disarm themselves of long running, unfunny situation comedies, ABC, NBC and CBS have unilaterally removed "The Drew Carey Show," "Just Shoot Me" and "Becker" from their fall schedules. But whatís to prevent a renegade network like the WB or UPN from creating new shows starring the out-of-work actors from these canceled programs? Yes, thereís no telling what could happen if an underdeveloped programmer got his hands on Mimi Bo beck. Saved from the jaws of cancellation, "The Practice" will be back next season, but without three of its main characters (i.e. the ones that have slept together). Instead the show will center on three of its supporting actors in an effort to keep the series alive long after its prime and without its marquee names. Sound familiar? Maybe they should change the title to "AfterPRACTICE." NBC announced itís new fall schedule and, as promised, "Friends" will be back for itís tenth and "fourth final" season. Also coming back are "Law & Order," "ER" and "Frasier." NBC also unveiled its new promotional slogan for next season: "Weíre NBC and our shows are really, really old." Remember Roseanne Barr Arnold Just Plain Roseanne? Well, now sheís Roseanne Barr again and sheís going to have her own reality series on ABC next season. Letís see...a reality show about a fat, annoying has-been. Am I the only one thinking Anna Nicole Smith should sue? Dan Aykroyd guest hosted "Saturday Night Live" for the first time in an effort to prove once and for all that he is no longer even remotely funny. Youíd think "Blues Brothers 2000" or his guest appearances on "According To Jim" would have done the job, but I guess there are some people out there who just donít give up that easy. Hey, maybe if he did another movie with Chevy Chase! (You know, the guy who falls > down.) On a happier SNL note, Chris Kattan is finally leaving the show to concentrate on snatching up the jerk movie roles Rob Schneider turns down. Does this mean itís finally safe to watch SNL again? Do pigs fly? No, wait...thatís just Horatio Sans in a cupid outfit. Brian Wilson will perform "Smile" in concert next February in London. Wow, a chance to see Brian eat his veggies live! And will he play the whole album or just get frustrated and walk off stage before heís finished? Oh my god - thereís a woman playing in a professional golf tournament! I mean, first a gimp wants to use a golf cart and now this! Golf is a game for real men, baby. Itís all about putting the ball in the hole and using the least amount of strokes while doing it. Paul McCartney was a big hit when he performed in Russia recently, but Russian President Vladimir Putin admitted there was a time when the Beatlesí music was considered western propaganda and not allowed in the USSR. Times have changed, of course, and now Beatle albums can be bought and listened to without the fear of repercussion. Ringoís solo albums on Atlantic, however, are another story. Oh, and Maccaís going to be a papa again. Yes, his wife Heather is pregnant and in between making music and campaigning against land mines, the cute Beatle is going to be changing diapers soon. Thatís pretty amazing when you consider heís almost old enough to sing "When Iím 64" in the present tense. Actor Richard Chamberlain, who gained fame as TVís Dr. Kildare in the 60ís and became the king of the miniseries in "The Thorn Birds" and "Shogun," revealed in a "Dateline NBC" interview that he is gay and no longer afraid to talk about it. And next week on "20/20," Jackie Mason admits heís Jewish. Best part of "24" this season: Jack Bauer taking out the bad guys and fighting off a heart attack at the same time in the Los Angeles Coliseum. Worst part: Unnecessary subplot involving daughter Kim and her adventures in babysitting. Obviously Elisha Cuthbert was brought back this year to juice up the sex quotient of the show, yet the producers failed to exploit it. She was running away from people who wanted to harm her, for godís sake! Didnít anyone see the opening sequence of "Scary Movie"? "American Idol." 40 million viewers tuned in to see whoíd be the big winner, but I guess there was a problem with the vote tally and some people complained they had trouble casting their votes for that pixie dude who looked suspiciously like Martin Short. And speaking of Martin Short, wouldnít the show be a lot better if his alter-ego Jiminy Glick replaced Simon as the mean judge? But I digress. And I really have no idea where I was going with this anyway. In the June issue of Maxim Magazine, Aquaman was named the second lamest super hero of all time. Who could be more lame than a guy who talks to fishes and has to wait for the bad guys to take a boat ride before he can foil them? Oh yeah, Robin. And now F&R bids farewell to three people who made their contributions to the world of music while performing in the shadows of those they collaborated with... June Carter Cash was the daughter of a country music pioneer and wife to one of itís legends. She was also a talented performer who could have been a star on her own, but chose the life of a supporting performer instead. And just when she was beginning to revive her solo career, the woman who wrote "Ring of Fire" for her Man in Black left this world for that great unbroken circle in the sky. Noel Redding may not have been one of the most well know bass players in rock in roll, but he was a member of the Jimi Hendrix Experience - and that sure beats working at the Dairy Queen. And even though he pretty much drifted off into obscurity after leaving the band, he will always be remembered as the guy who added bottom to three of the greatest albums of all time ("Are You Experienced," "Axis: Bold As Love" and "Electric Ladyland"). Not bad for someone who got the gig because he looked right for the part. And then thereís Mickie Most. During pop musicís British Invasion period, he produced such hit makers as the Animals, Donovan and the often maligned but immensely popular Hermanís Hermits. Of course, producing the Hermits meant working with hot session men like Jimmy Page and John Paul Jones, so one can only speculate how much Led Zeppelin was influenced by the man who helped capture the magic of the Manchester sound on vinyl. Okay, so maybe his name isnít mentioned in the same breath as Phil Spector or Sir George Martin, but anyone who can put "The House of the Rising Sun," "Iím Into Something Good" and "I Love My Shirt" on their resume is all right in my book. Good-bye June, Noel and Mickey. Thanks for the music. Fuck and Run- "The Archives" is right here in case you missed an edition. |