Murder Was The Case That They Gave Him

Actor Robert Blake was finally arrested in connection with the murder of his wife Bonny Lee Bakley but at least prosecutors have decided not to seek the death penalty. The charges against Blake, who is best known as that wacko who played Baretta on TV, include murder, solicitation of murder, conspiracy to commit murder, thinking about murdering someone and then doing it, killing a person dead, shooting said person and the special circumstance of lying in wait. Also arrested was Blakeís bodyguard, who was charged with conspiracy to commit murder and being in cahoots with a nut case. Blakeís lawyer says heíll defend his client by showing that lots of other people wanted Bakley dead, too, and Blake shouldnít be punished just because he got to it first.

The music world stopped last week when the lead singer of Alice in Chains was found dead in his apartment. It stopped not to mourn but to try and remember who the hell the lead singer of Alice in Chains was. (Layne Staley, for those of you keeping score at home.) Apparently the body had been lying in the apartment and decomposing for several days, which means an autopsy had to be performed in order to identify the corpse. Says our friend LEE: The situation certainly brings new meaning to their song "Them Bones." (More on LEE later.)

Sportscaster Marv Albert was released from a New Jersey hospital just one day after receiving a concussion in a car accident. However, concerned doctors kept Marvís toupee under observation for another 24 hours just as a precautionary measure.

This is Spinal Tap. No wait - itís really just The Osbournes on MTV. And itís the most watched program the music channel has ever produced. Over six million people tune in to this reality show about a man who has no idea what reality is and itís quickly become the surprise hit of the year. Unfortunately, Ozzy and his family only signed up for one season and now the network will have to cough up more than a batís head to get them to re-up for more episodes. Oh well, thatís bloody fucking show biz.

Another surprise hit: Baby Bob. Of course, it doesnít hurt that CBS scheduled it on the same night as Everybody Loves Raymond, a show so powerful it has the ability to suck in viewers for the eveningís entire lineup of so-so sitcoms. (Yes, people are too lazy to pick up the remote and change channels before Becker comes on.) Anyway, the producer of the show says Baby Bob is not a show about a talking baby, but about a family that has to deal with a talking baby. Ah, the thin line behind a mindless piece of crap and a wrongly justified mindless piece of crap.

Get out your handkerchiefs. Youíll need ëem next month when the credit card bill arrives. But until then buy and enjoy new music releases from Elvis Costello, Paul Westerberg, Wilco, Cornershop and Badly Drawn Boy. Yes, they all came out on the same day and when I searched one of these titles on Amazon.com, the site recommended the other four for my purchasing and listening pleasure. Hmmm, am I that predictable?

I didnít watch all of VH-1ís TV movie about the PMRC, but I saw enough to ask the question, "Griffin Dunne as Frank Zappa?!" What kind of Bizzaro World casting is that? Donít get me wrong, I like Griffin Dunne, but heís more suited to portray someone like Dudley Moore - not Zappa by a long shot. Maybe they should have gotten Robin Williams to play Frank and let him wing it. "Oooh no, it must be that time of month because here comes the PMSRC!!"

The University of Texas El Paso named a center for community studies after ABC newsman Sam Donaldson but then quickly revoked the honor when they found out he wasnít the guy who sang "Billy, Donít Be A Hero" back in the 70ís with a group called the Heywoods.

The Scorpion King is the biggest goddam movie in the world and it stars WWF superstar The Rock in the title role. Of course, heís not the first professional wrestler to try his hand at acting but heís by far the most successful. Meanwhile another grappler turned thespian Hulk "Mr. Nanny" Hogan has returned to the squared circle and heís already won himself one of those big belts they give out to the wrestlers who move the most merchandise. Yeah, I know itís just "sports entertainment" but donít they risk the illusion of fake reality when they let a seventy-five year old cartoon character enter the ring and rip off his shirt to reveal his big scary lobster man body?

It looks like Sammy Hagar and David Lee Roth are gonna tour together this summer. I know you probably expect me to tear in to these guys and make fun of this pairing, but I think itís actually quite brilliant. Maybe they should call it the "Van Halen Sucks Tour." And yes, Gary Cherone will be opening for them. Opening doors, beer bottles, fan mail...

The countdown continues...Why did agent Bauer surrender his weapon? Didnít he realize the bad guys never keep their word? And now Lou Diamond Phillips is off the show after only two episodes of 24. Oh wait, now itís beginning to make sense.

And finally, letís end this edition of F&R with something really cool! Circle May 7th on your calendars, boys and girls, because thatís the day when youíll be able to walk into your favorite music store and purchase copies of The Knack reissues on compact disc!! Digitally remastered versions of Get The Knack, ...But The Little Girls Understand, Round Trip and Serious Fun - and they look and sound AMAZING!!!! But thatís not even the coolest part!! The coolest part is the credit youíll find inside each booklet:

Produced & Compiled For Reissue By: Doug Fieger & Lee Lodyga

Thatís right, OUR LEE - the guy who ranted and raved in LEEmail - got to sit down with Doug Fieger of The Knack and help make sure the catalog got done up right. Yeah, it only makes sense that LEE is the guy who helped get the dirty words reinstated on Get The Knack and that alone should earn him a ticket to immortality. Iím sure youíll read more about these reissues elsewhere on this site, but right now Iíd just like to say "Way to go, LEE!" Serious Fun indeed!