The Ravens and the Giants. Outside of Baltimore and New York nobody really cared to begin with and our apathy was justified with a one-sided 34-7 victory by Art Modellís team of loud mouthed trash talkers. Well, at least Shannon Sharpeís mile-a-minute boasting might help prepare us for the half-time interviews during the upcoming XFL telecasts.

Best defense ever? Quite a statement about a team that couldnít even win their division. Of course, they had to win games without having a real quarterback, so you gotta factor that into the equation. Imagine being a starter for an NFL team and your job is to just go out there and not lose the game. Oh, the pressure. And what makes me think Trent Dilfer is not gonna be the Super Bowl quarterback whoíll make us forget Joe Montana or John Elway? Or even Doug Williams.

Yes, the Baltimore defense. I have to admit it was pretty awesome. But I think I know why opposing running backs canít gain any yards against the Ravens. Tony Siragusa eats them before they can cross the line of scrimmage.

Okay, I could be biased, but I still gotta say the Bears Super Bowl defense was the best ever. Maybe the statistics donít back me up, but that team only lost one game and they werenít exactly an offensive powerhouse. Plus youíve gotta be pretty damn good to make a record like "The Super Bowl Shuffle" and not be laughed off the playing field.

The Baltimore offense may not have been anything to write home about, but they sure made Jason Seahorn look like a goofball. Lucky for him he gets to go home and have Law and Order actress Angie Harmon soothe his bruised ego. But only if she doesnít mind making flippy-floppy with one of this yearís Super Bowl goats. (The other being Kerry "Throw It To The Guys in White" Collins.)

One other player I should point out is the Giantsí Tiki Barber. Not for anything he did in the game. Just because I think itís fun to say the name Tiki Barber.

Well, as we all know, the Super Bowl is more than just a football game. Thereís all that other hoopla that goes along with it. You know, the pre-game festivities and the half-time show. This year MTV was named to the entertainment committee so you know we wouldnít be seeing the Up With People Singers or a high school marching band forming a giant fedora in a salute to the late Tom Landry. Instead we got to watch some of the hottest names in the recording industry come out and strut their stuff and wasnít that a time!

Before the game there was Sting doing some kind of middle eastern wailing and "Roxanne" medley that just confused the hell out of me. The Stinger should take a cue from the concussion king Steve Young and just call it quits before itís too late. Then again, at least Sting can go around saying "De Do Do Do" without anyone thinking heís got permanent brain damage.

There was no winner in the half-time battle of the bands. NSYNC ran out to the mid field stage pretending they were The Beatles, being chased by manic fans like in the opening scene from A Hard Dayís Night. (It was a homage.) Then they did their usual techno beat high steppiní routine, lip synching their vocals for sure but this time I think the dance steps were prerecorded as well. The kids loved it, of course, and give the teen heartthrobs some credit for staying true to their millions of fans and not pulling a Donnie "Iím Too Cool For This Even Though Itís Made Me Super Rich" Wahlberg.

Speaking of staying true to their fans, thatís a charge that wonít stick to Aerosmith in a court of law. That is, if youíre talking about the original fans who dug the bad boys of Boston back in the days when there were deflecting those Rolling Stones rip-off accusations. Man, has MTV made a monster of this guys! They really need to get back to the bars and be reminded what made them form a rock band in the first place. Fat chance. Why settle for being rockers when you can bump and grind with Britney Spears while the whole world watches. Yeah, Britney and Steven going nose-to-nose on "Walk This Way" with more than a little help from NSYNC, Mary J. Blige and Nelly. And 130 million viewers got to watch a half naked 18 year old prance around with a tube sock on her arm.

But I wonder how many people tuned in the night before the Super Bowl to watch the Austin City Limits repeat of a classic live performance by Fats Domino. Forget about Ricky Martinís booty shake, Iíd rather see the Fat Man pelvic thrust his piano across the stage while playing some smokiní hot boogie woogie New Orleans style. Yeah, it doesnít have anything to do with the Super Bowl, but thereís gotta be something in this world to make me happy once in awhile.

And now a word from our sponsor... Ah, those Super Bowl commercials. Theyíre better than the game, right? And this year they didnít have much to compete with. But if you ask me the bloom is off the rose for these high profile spots that used to be the talk of the water cooler crowd the day after the big game. Letís see, I kinda liked the E-Trade ad with the monkey riding a horse, but how can you miss when youíve got a monkey riding a horse. The EDS ëRunning of the Squirrelsí was funnier than last years ëCat Herdingí but only because squirrels are always funnier than cats. And the best commercials were the ones where Budweiser poked fun at its own "Whassssup?" campaign. Other than than, pretty lame. I think the problem is youíve got advertising people who arenít funny trying to come up with ads that are. A word to Madison Avenue: Stop trying to be something youíre not and give us more women in bikinis.

One other note about Super Bowl commercials. The next day during The Today Show they ran the "Iím going to Disney World" ad featuring Trent Dilfer. I thought the gameís MVP was supposed to do those? Oh wait, maybe Ray Lewis doesnít project the right image for a nice family vacation spot. Or perhaps they think people might be afraid to visit the theme park knowing heís lurking about the Magic Kingdom.

And one more thing... offside and encroachment. What exactly is the difference? Do we really need two different names for basically the same infraction? And why did I just call it an infraction instead of a penalty??

And as far as Survivor II: Big Down Under is concerned... Didnít watch it and donít plan on being one of the zillions who tune in every week to see whoís the next loser to get booted off the outback. However, if I had to pick a favorite to win, it would be the scary woman who looks like Bea Arthur. Not for any particular reason except making Bea Arthur jokes is almost as much fun as saying Tiki Barber.