The Four Kings of EMI are still holding court

A book, a website, a new CD compilation, the cover of TV Guide, a special on ABC and a TV movie on NBC. Not bad for a group that broke up a little over thirty years ago. Too bad I wonít be around in another thirty years to witness the total lack of fuss being made over todayís music giants like Limp Bizkit, Mariah Carey, the Backstreet Boys and Garth Brooks. Mock sigh.

Actually, thirty years from now Garth Brooks will probably be retiring again for the 25th time. And did you hear that he just split up with his wife? Apparently she filed for divorce on the grounds that the mashed potatoes hadnít made it to her end of the dining table in almost four years.

Yeah, Capitol Records will have to worry about whether or not Garthís next album will be his last. I mean, especially since it looks like Chirs Gainesí first album was his last. But in the game of record industry euchre the bigwigs on Hollywood & Vine can always thank the dealer for giving them the right and left bowers of pop music (a.k.a. The Beatles and The Beach Boys). One hit wonders and overnight sensations may come and go, but the ways to repackage the genius of John, Paul and Brian are limitless.

And sometimes they even get it right. Those two-fer reissues of The Beach Boysí albums on Brother Records were pretty damn cool and helped disprove the theory that the group didnít do anything worthwhile after Pet Sounds. And now thereís a brand new Beatles compilation just out in time to become an instant stocking stuffer classic. 27 big fat hits that occupied the top spot of the U.S. and/or the U.K. charts on a single CD aptly titled 1.

Okay, so itís not the definitive collection. You couldnít put that all on one disc, right? In fact, if youíre looking for the definitive Beatles collection itís already been released and itís called "all their albums." And although I really like to see "Please Please Me" and "Strawberry Fields Forever" on this disc, I must confess I have warmed up to the "1" concept. Itís kind of a boast, actually. And maybe somewhat of an answer to all the poo-pooing over Mariah Careyís recent takeover as the artist whose spent the most weeks at #1 in the history of Billboardís Hot 100. (Not to mention being the biggest selling recording artist of the 90ís who pees sitting down.)  Go ahead, put a copy of The Beatles' 1 and Mariahís #1ís in a time capsule and see which one has more significance when itís unearthed three decades from now. (Taking into consideration, of course, that the time capsule isnít opened up by a horny old man.)

Then again, whatís a single today anyway? And how in the hell do they determine which one is number one? I remember when they actual meant something, when they were a big deal and people used to get really excited when the radio played anything new by The Beatles. The DJ's even talked it up ahead of time just to get you to stay tuned. Yeah, I still have a vivid memory of being half asleep in my top bunk, hearing the beginning of "Hello, Goodbye" and waking myself up just so I could listen to it. But nowadays the main purpose of a single is to serve as the soundtrack to the video, which is made to help promote and sell the album (on CD), which is now the preferred showcase for a recording artist. Hmm, you know I can remember when albums were considered to be an insignificant format. I wonder who came along and changed that?

Another comparison test. Soak one hand in your regular dish washing liquid and put the other in Palmolive. Then have someone read off the contents of The Beatles' 1 and someone else read off the songs on The Eaglesí Their Greatest Hits 1971-1975. Well? Time to get a dishwasher and crown a new king of the Catalog Album Charts, ya think?

I guess I should say something about the cover of 1. Who designed it anyway, the weird ass painter guy from Sesame Street? "Today Iím gonna paint the number 1." Well at least itís not as awful as the hideous cover for Reel Music, which only served as a warning to what a silly concept that album was in the first place. And for those trivia buffs out there, the part of the weird ass Sesame Street painter was played by Paul Benedict, who went on to greater fame playing Bentley, the weird ass neighbor on The Jeffersons. "Today Iím gonna borrow a cup of sugar and get locked out of my apartment wearing boxing shorts."

The Byrds saw A Hard Dayís Night and then went out and bought Rickenbaker guitars. Little Declan McManus was a card carrying member of the Beatles Fan Club long before he changed his name to Elvis Costello. And Bruce Springsteen is just one of the many famous rockers who count The Beatles' initial appearance on the Ed Sullivan Show as a turning point in their lives. Of course, bands like Korn and Limp Bizkit inspired lots of guys to turn their hats around and wear them backwards, but something tells me thatís just a phase.

ABC's The Beatles Revolution was a better trip than I expected. Cool film clips, the world's greatest music and even the celebrity testimonials weren't the hideous bore I'd though they'd be. Famous people gushing about my favorite band. I can handle that. (Even though some of those singing the praises included Garth Brooks, Tommy Hilfiger and the Spice Girls.) I especially liked hearing Mike Myers tell how he cried at the end of A Hard Day's Night because the movie was over and he was going to miss The Beatles. I did that, too. And, like Myers, I also get choked up over the song "Nowhere Man" and feel sad when itís sung by the animated Beatles in the Jeremy Hilary Boob segment of Yellow Submarine.

Ah, I almost fell for it! TV Guide pulled their little trick of releasing four different "collectors" covers this week with each one featuring, you guessed it, a different member of the Fab Four. Standing at the checkout counter, I though about it, but then came to my senses and grabbed the John version. They didnít have a Paul one anyway and it didnít occur to me until later that perhaps that was yet another death clue.

A quick wish list: The Beatles Anthology video on DVD. Let It Be to be re-released and put on DVD as well, with an "anthology" type CD set as a companion piece. Ditto for The Beatles Shea Stadium concert. A complete collection of Beatle videos. And for all the original albums to be done up proper on compact disc with the original artwork. Thereís more, Iím sure, but thatís enough to get the powers that be pointed in the right direction.

I guess a major contributing factor to the importance of the music of The Beatles, in addition to it being so damn good, is how it manages to intertwine with our lives. I can still remember the day of my fatherís funeral and afterwards when all the guy cousins gathered in my bedroom for an impromptu record spin. As "Let it Be" played, we all began to sing along without prompting and it served as a cathartic moment. And while this was happening, I looked up and noticed my lard butted cousin leaning against the bunk beds singing along. And for a moment, I forgot about my father's death and thought, "Wow, my lard butted cousin knows the words to 'Let It Be.'" Then the record and the moment were over and someone quietly said, "Play the other side." Real sigh.

P.S. Donít forget to visit the official Beatles website at www.thebeatles.com