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F & R "Oh, I just donít know where to begin..." Iím reading Tony Clayton-Leaís biography of Elvis Costello at the usual Danny reading rate, a chapter every few days, and Iím finding myself longing for the days of driving to Chicago and searching the bins for rare imports and hard-to-find b-sides. If you donít get the connection, then Iím afraid youíll have to sit at the kiddie table for Thanksgiving and/or Christmas dinner. While Iím writing this edition of F&R, Iím listening to Midnight Vultures, the brand new release from Beck. Wow, itís a real hot smacker!! (That means good in Lakinlanguage.) I get the feeling Beck would be a cool guy to borrow records from. Memo to Drew Carey: Gimmicks are not funny. Funny is funny. There is one gimmick you might try - hire good writers. Yes, having good writers is the key to good comedy. A point you prove each week on your make-it-up-as-you-go-along show, Whose Turn is it to Say Something Stupid Anyway? A message for local Lakinland readers (as opposed to my many followers in Prague), you may notice a familiar name in the credits for Toy Story 2. Clay High grad Chris Webb, is listed as one of the screenwriters. Itís always good to see success come to a real nice guy. If I were forced to chose between putting away the groceries and having sex, I think I would choose having sex. For a mere five dollars you can get Luther Campbell, the notorious rapper of 2 Live Crew fame, to record a personal message for your answer phone. It puts him right on par with Rich Little, who made a tape that would answer calls with zany celebrity impressions, or Foster Brooks, whose tape made it sound like a really drunk guy was answering your phone. Well, at least heís still recording new material. And speaking of has been rappers, what ever happened to The Fat Boys? Did they run out of ideas, or did they just stop being fat? I found Come On, Get Happy, the TV movie about The Partridge Family, to be somewhat entertaining, but howís come during production no one noticed the god awful make-up job on the actor playing Dave "Reuben Kinkaid" Madden? And was it just me, or was he really doing a bad impersonation of Joe Flaherty? (P.S. Time to start looking for Joseph Bonaduce writing credits on Nick at Nightís All in the Family reruns.) Man, this new Beck CD is two-people-doing it amazing!!!! Imagine spending three hundred dollars to see The Who and instead three old guys come out and do their business. Iím sorry, but seeing Roger Daltry sing My Generation now is kind of like watching Jerry Lewis play Holden Caulfield. Hey, but seeing Mr. Daltry in NBCís Leprechauns is a whole ënuther story! Hereís a mini-series whose special effects budget was so big they could only afford Randy Quaid as the star!!! The Meijer parking lot is a lot like professional wrestling. There are rules but nobody follows them. And speaking of professional wrestling, when are they gonna start using instant replay to help crack down on all the cheating? Although I donít make a point to watch it, I find Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? an easy half hour diversion. And the trick to not being annoyed by host Regis Philbin is to think of him as and SCTV character. (Not hard to do if youíve seen a few of his appearances on Late Night with David Letterman.) How long has it been since I gushed about the new Beck CD? A few years back, I had this vision: Metallica with strings!! But no one would listen. They said I was crazy. They said the same thing when I had this idea about a TV show with singing cops. Has anyone found the hidden Dr. Evil special feature on the Austin Powers - The Spy Who Shagged Me DVD?? And are there any hidden naked Heather Graham parts?? Thatís about it for now. Beck rules. Leave your love light on. Happiness is two kinds of ice cream. And above all ,Drop the fucking Chalupa!!!!!!
"One day thereíll be a museum of
stupidity Graham Parker, 1991
"Your bitch ass whore canít come to
the phone right now! Luther Campbell, 1999 Fuck and Run- Volume 1 is right here in case you missed it... |